Dear Dr. Romance: Is he trying to make me jealous?

By

Dear Dr. Romance: Is he trying to make me jealous?

Dear Dr. Romance:

 

 

I need your advice. My ex and I broke up a while ago but still talked everyday. Anyways, long story short, I decided I can't talk to him anymore because we both need to change and find out who we are and learn to treat each other better.

He continues calling and texting. I don't reply. He tries adding me on facebook, I denied. So he messages me asking why I don't pick up/ I didn't pick up so in a little while he writes another message randomly telling me he is making it work with another girl.

 

What is the reason behind this random message? Is he trying to make me jealous?

Another thing is I'm not sure if i made the wrong move. He kept on calling and messaging that he really needs to talk. I finally picked up and his reason was to ask me why I wouldn't respond. I'm not sure if me picking up was the wrong move. Nothing really happened in that conversation anyhow. I just don't wanna make anymore mistakes and feel inferior to him in any way.

 

I would like to know what to do. He is contacting my sister now, telling her I'm a drama queen and he's glad we don't talk, but yet right after he still texts telling me he doesn't why i don't respond. And still calls. I think he's just trying to get my attention.

Dear Reader: 

 

Please be careful. It was a mistake to pick up the phone. Yes, he's trying to make you jealous. He'll do anything at all to get a response. This guy is at the beginning of stalking you, and if you show him that persistence will get him a response, he'll keep on persisting. So, every response creates many, many more calls. I suggest you block his phone calls, and continue not responding on Facebook.

You don't need to know what he's saying. If you don't respond at all, he will eventually let go. Don't be nice -- he's not being nice. Just let him go.  Block him everywhere, and if he gets through, don't respond. If he calls you from another phone, hang up the minute you know it's him.

Know the signs of emotional blackmail:

1. A demand. Your ex won't take "no" for an answer, and requests are really demands.

 

2. Resistance. When every discussion turns into an argument.

3. Pressure. Your ex pressures you to talk to him.

 

4. Threats. Your ex uses threatening or coercing tactics: threatening, tears, rage, badgering. It's very important that you let him go, completely. Ask your friends not to talk to you about what he's doing. Let it go.

"How to Keep Yourself Out of a Violent Relationship" will give you what you need to know to keep yourself safe.  It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction can help you figure out why you are involved with such a crazy guy.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dr. Romance asks: Are the Post-Holiday Blues getting you down?

By

Everyone is relieved when the holidays are over, and sometimes disappointed. If you're worn out, it's worth your while to take the time to recharge a little, and pamper yourself. Dr. Romance gives  4 Tips for handling Post-holiday blues * If you are disappointed, and the holidays let you down in some way, process that first. Write in your ... Read more

Dear Dr. Romance: How Do I Stop My Husband's Ex-Wife from Smother

By

Dear Dr. Romance:  My husband has a son with his ex-wife.  He is 12, but she still invites him to sleep in her bed. How old is too old to be sleeping with Mom?  I know kids from divorced parents have different issues-- one being how a child should sleep, what manners to follow, at what time to do their chores, homework, etc. I think ... Read more

Creating Family Acceptance

By

Lately, I’ve gotten so many anguished questions from people who are being criticized and rejected by family for making relationship choices the families don’t like, usually for cultural or religious reasons, that I changed my mind about what I was going to write this month. If your choice of a partner, lifestyle, religion or place to live has ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular