Dear Dr. Romance: Is he trying to make me jealous?

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Dear Dr. Romance: Is he trying to make me jealous?

Dear Dr. Romance:

 

 

I need your advice. My ex and I broke up a while ago but still talked everyday. Anyways, long story short, I decided I can't talk to him anymore because we both need to change and find out who we are and learn to treat each other better.

He continues calling and texting. I don't reply. He tries adding me on facebook, I denied. So he messages me asking why I don't pick up/ I didn't pick up so in a little while he writes another message randomly telling me he is making it work with another girl.

 

What is the reason behind this random message? Is he trying to make me jealous?

Another thing is I'm not sure if i made the wrong move. He kept on calling and messaging that he really needs to talk. I finally picked up and his reason was to ask me why I wouldn't respond. I'm not sure if me picking up was the wrong move. Nothing really happened in that conversation anyhow. I just don't wanna make anymore mistakes and feel inferior to him in any way.

 

I would like to know what to do. He is contacting my sister now, telling her I'm a drama queen and he's glad we don't talk, but yet right after he still texts telling me he doesn't why i don't respond. And still calls. I think he's just trying to get my attention.

Dear Reader: 

 

Please be careful. It was a mistake to pick up the phone. Yes, he's trying to make you jealous. He'll do anything at all to get a response. This guy is at the beginning of stalking you, and if you show him that persistence will get him a response, he'll keep on persisting. So, every response creates many, many more calls. I suggest you block his phone calls, and continue not responding on Facebook.

You don't need to know what he's saying. If you don't respond at all, he will eventually let go. Don't be nice -- he's not being nice. Just let him go.  Block him everywhere, and if he gets through, don't respond. If he calls you from another phone, hang up the minute you know it's him.

Know the signs of emotional blackmail:

1. A demand. Your ex won't take "no" for an answer, and requests are really demands.

 

2. Resistance. When every discussion turns into an argument.

3. Pressure. Your ex pressures you to talk to him.

 

4. Threats. Your ex uses threatening or coercing tactics: threatening, tears, rage, badgering. It's very important that you let him go, completely. Ask your friends not to talk to you about what he's doing. Let it go.

"How to Keep Yourself Out of a Violent Relationship" will give you what you need to know to keep yourself safe.  It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction can help you figure out why you are involved with such a crazy guy.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
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Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
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Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
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