Dear Dr. Romance: Every time I think about him it just hurts


 Dear Dr. Romance: Every time I think about him it just hurts
Dr. Romance helps a reader who recently fell in love with a guy going through a divorce.

Dear Dr. Romance:

I'm hoping you can offer some advice. I recently fell in love with a guy who was going through a divorce. We dated after the divorce, but not for long, even though it felt like it. He was separated about 10 months when we started dating, and he confessed to having a crush on me for a really long time.


He recently decided he missed his daughter too much and is giving up his career and life and moving to be closer to her. She is only 8, and the ex wife took her away. He won't allow me to even think about going with him.

I wonder if that's a sign he really wasn't that in to me. I just want to know so I know whether or not I should fight. Every time i think about him leaving, it hurts. Are there clear signs? Am i fighting a losing battle? Am I being selfish? Is this a journey a parent needs to take by himself? Love can sure hurt.

Dear Reader:

Trust your hunch. I think he was living out a fantasy, but found the price was way too high—loss of his family and daughter.

I'm sorry, but this is a big risk with men who haven't completed their divorces and aren't settled into being fully divorced. They try to ease their emotional pain with fantasy sex. You need to grieve and move on. "Surviving Loss and Thriving Again" will help you get over this loss. "Stupid Cupid" will help you find love that does not suck. The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again will help you avoid pitfalls like this and find a real relationship.

For free relationship tips and courses,

For More Advice On Dating After Divorce From YourTango:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina


Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
Dr. Romance Blog:!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dr. Romance asks: Are the Post-Holiday Blues getting you down?


Everyone is relieved when the holidays are over, and sometimes disappointed. If you're worn out, it's worth your while to take the time to recharge a little, and pamper yourself. Dr. Romance gives  4 Tips for handling Post-holiday blues * If you are disappointed, and the holidays let you down in some way, process that first. Write in your ... Read more

Dear Dr. Romance: How Do I Stop My Husband's Ex-Wife from Smother


Dear Dr. Romance:  My husband has a son with his ex-wife.  He is 12, but she still invites him to sleep in her bed. How old is too old to be sleeping with Mom?  I know kids from divorced parents have different issues-- one being how a child should sleep, what manners to follow, at what time to do their chores, homework, etc. I think ... Read more

Creating Family Acceptance


Lately, I’ve gotten so many anguished questions from people who are being criticized and rejected by family for making relationship choices the families don’t like, usually for cultural or religious reasons, that I changed my mind about what I was going to write this month. If your choice of a partner, lifestyle, religion or place to live has ... Read more

See More

My Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular