Looking For Marriage Advice? Try Having More Sex!

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Looking For Marriage Advice? Try Having More Sex!
A healthy marriage requires honest communication... and great sex.

When your relationship lasts for a while, your lovemaking will change. As you get closer, passion no longer grows automatically out of the excitement of the new and unknown. Rather than allowing your energy to subside, you can allow your sex lives to change and grow, deepening as your partnership does. Couples who develop a sexual repertoire which includes a variety of habits, attitudes and options report feeling more satisfaction and freedom to express their love with enough variety that they never get bored. These suggestions will help you create a variety of experiences together.

Quickies:
These are ways to enjoy sex when you don't really have time for a full, leisurely romantic evening: Try oral sex before you leave for work, petting to climax in the car at a drive-in movie, using toys to have orgasms without a lot of foreplay late at night, or taking a nap and having a "quickie" before rushing off to a party.

 

Sneaky Sex:
This has the added excitement of forbidden fruit: having silent sex behind locked doors while the children are watching TV or sneaking lovemaking in your childhood bedroom while visiting your parents.

Romantic Sex:
This is the full-blown variety: candlelight, dinner, quiet talking, dressing up, perhaps a lovely hotel room or a romantic dinner for two when you have time alone at home. This is especially good for anniversaries, Valentine's Day, or anytime your relationship needs a boost.

New Couple Sex:
Recreate a scene from your dating days, as closely as possible: the time you met at church and couldn't wait to get home and make love, the flowers you used to bring home as a surprise, or saying all the silly, wildly-in-love things you would whisper "way back then." 

Make-up Sex:
After you've had an argument or a struggle and forgiven each other, lovemaking can be extra tender and memorable.

Comforting Sex:
When one of you is sad or stressed, and the other acts in a way that is caring and soothing, sex can feel comforting and safe. This is a celebration of your long-time bond and how hard you've worked to maintain it.

Relaxing Sex:
This is a great activity for a weekend morning when you have no obligations and can laze around, have breakfast in bed, and make love for as long as you want. There's no pressure, no hurry and no demands on each other.

Reassuring Sex:
This is manifested in affection and intimacy intended to reassure a partner who is temporarily insecure, or designed to reaffirm your mutual love and commitment to each other. It is often accompanied by many verbal declarations of love and explaining again why you are so important to each other.

Fantasy Sex:
Act out all the silly, forbidden or exciting fantasies you've been harboring: nurse and patient, "playing house," master or dominatrix and slave, stripper and customer, extraterrestrial alien and abductee, famous movie star and adoring fan, your two favorite characters from a soap opera, novel or movie... or anything else you can imagine. This is a great time for costumes, masks, toys, outfits, or whatever enhancements you enjoy.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
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tina@tinatessina.com
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Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
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