Anger: Cleansing Squall or Hurricane?

By

Anger: Cleansing Squall or Hurricane?
Learn how to effectively control your anger to get more of what you want from life!

1. Imagine a previous angry situation as if it’s occurring now. Get as clear a picture of the scene as possible, imagining what people are wearing, what the room looks like, etc.
2. Mentally play the scene as if it's a video and see how it develops. Don't worry if it plays out according to your worst fears. Just watch it as you would watch any video.
3. Because this scene didn’t go well originally, consider what you'd like to change about what you're doing (Remember, you can't control the others in the scene but you can get them to respond differently by giving them something different to respond to.) Rewind and replay this mental image, trying new ways to handle it until you are successful (that is, you handle the situation without losing your temper).
4. Play the tape a few more times, with this successful process and outcome, until you feel confident that you can do and say what you are visualizing.
5. Play the tape again and again, visualizing your successful outcome. The more you replay it, and practice your new responses, the easier it will be to access them in the next discussion.
6. You have just reprogrammed your mind to create some new responses to tense or angry situations, and you'll find these responses are available to you when you need them. Use this technique any time you're concerned about an upcoming discussion or confrontation. Dr. Romance on Jealousy, Faithfulness and Distance

Adapted from Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Squabbling About the Three Things That Can Destroy Your Marriage (Adams Media) ISBN# 978-1-59869-325-6 © Tina B.Tessina, 2008

To Read Great Sex Advice:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

A Stress Free Christmas? You Bet! Here's 3 Tips For Happier Times

By

Richard and I just indulged in our favorite December tradition—we watched our favorite Christmas movie (Scrooge! the musical starring Albert Finney) which kick-starts our holiday spirit every year. No matter what you observe: Ramadan, Kwaanza, Chanukah, Solstice or Christmas, this is a celebratory time of year. For some it's happiness and joy, for ... Read more

Better Intimacy, Better Sex

By

As a counselor, I get a lot of clients who are worried about intimacy and sex. Romance books are a lovely escape from reality, and can help reduce your stress from daily frustrations. And, you can even learn a few tricks to enhance your relationship. The danger comes in if you begin to believe in the fantasy, compare your real-life partner to a fictional ... Read more

Dear Dr. Romance: What is the right love to last a lifetime?

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I am writing this letter to you because I really want to know what is the right love to last a lifetime? I am frustrated right now. How couples especially married, last love into lifetime? I am in love with someone, but I don't know if that person feels the same way too. But in some way or in somehow, I know she feels in a small amount ... Read more

See More

 
PARTNER POSTS
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular