4 Tips for a Cheater: Get Your Marriage Back on Track

By

4 Tips for a Cheater: Get Your Marriage Back on Track
Infidelity: How to Recover if You're the Cheater

To recover from infidelity and save your marriage:

1. Tell the Truth.
Assuming your spouse found out, you didn't confess—this is the time to tell the whole truth. It's probably best done with a therapist present, to keep a lid on the emotional reactions.

2. Give your Spouse the Power.
When you cheated, you took your partner's power away, so now let your spouse be in charge. Your spouse had no say about the cheating, so giving up control will help re-balance the power. Confess, apologize, and then ask what you need to do to be forgiven. Humility is the order of the day.

3. Get some Therapy.
Both of you need to recover from anger, resentment, grief, guilt and shock; this takes some time. You may each need individual therapy as well as couple therapy to repair the damage. Do whatever it takes, if you really want to stay in the marriage.

4. Focus on the Marriage.
Cheating implies a personal problem with both integrity and impulse control, as well as a relationship problem that created an excuse for the cheating. Focus not only on confession and forgiveness, but on repairing whatever was wrong in the marriage to start with.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Shared Laughter Is The Best Relationship Medicine

By

Dr. Romance writes, A lighthearted approach to serious matters often is the most productive one. Imagine what your days would be like if you focused on having fun and making yourself and your partner laugh. Fun is also good for your health. Telling your partner the cute thing your kid said (or your pet did) or talking about the funny scene in the latest hit ... Read more

Overcome Your Anxiety In 8 Simple Steps!

By

We are all in a time of high stress, and national disasters often bring up fear. If these fears are not dealt with, they can lead to "acting out" behavior, such as drinking too much or creating problems with relationships, work or money as a distraction. To avoid these kinds of problems, follow these simple steps for resolving your fear and ... Read more

Afraid To Reenter The Dating Game? Refine Your Strategy!

By

Dear Dr. Romance: My last romantic relationship, which I thought was mutual, ended because she said one day out of the blue, "I don't love you any more." I don't think she ever really did love me, but rather that I was her crutch after her last breakup. I loved her wholly, with all my everything, however she did reciprocate. That, of ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB