4 Tips for a Cheater: Get Your Marriage Back on Track

By

4 Tips for a Cheater: Get Your Marriage Back on Track
Infidelity: How to Recover if You're the Cheater

To recover from infidelity and save your marriage:

1. Tell the Truth.
Assuming your spouse found out, you didn't confess—this is the time to tell the whole truth. It's probably best done with a therapist present, to keep a lid on the emotional reactions.

2. Give your Spouse the Power.
When you cheated, you took your partner's power away, so now let your spouse be in charge. Your spouse had no say about the cheating, so giving up control will help re-balance the power. Confess, apologize, and then ask what you need to do to be forgiven. Humility is the order of the day.

3. Get some Therapy.
Both of you need to recover from anger, resentment, grief, guilt and shock; this takes some time. You may each need individual therapy as well as couple therapy to repair the damage. Do whatever it takes, if you really want to stay in the marriage.

4. Focus on the Marriage.
Cheating implies a personal problem with both integrity and impulse control, as well as a relationship problem that created an excuse for the cheating. Focus not only on confession and forgiveness, but on repairing whatever was wrong in the marriage to start with.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dear Dr. Romance: You're giving advice on what YOU consider norma

By

Dear Dr. Romance: Thank you for your free articles, you have a lot of good stuff in there. A couple of the girls at work and I read your articles and get a good laugh. You're giving advice assuming that our lives are what YOU consider normal. You have a good job, make good money, live in a nice house, wear nice clothes, probably have good make-up, have ... Read more

Debunking Myths About Dating

By

I'm updating my book The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. The new version will be called Dr. Romance's Guide to Dating in the Digital Age. The following article is excerpted from the new book (edited). A lot of the problems that come up in Dating Again are generated by social expectations, (how other people think you should behave or things ... Read more

Who Are You Really Rescuing?

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I read your article about rescuing: Avoiding the Drama Triangle. I have been rescuing my mother from the big, bad wolf, my father. He would beat my mother, me and my sister. I decided to rescue her. She let me rescue her from her second husband, when she needed money, favors, grocery shopping and now health problems. As I ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB