2. Difference: Women are Task Masters and Men are Result Makers. Women tend to focus on tasks and are motivated to get them done in order to feel peace and quiet within them. Men are less motivated by doing a task then they are motivated by a result they want. Men need to be clear that a task is going to make his wife happy or make him happy or accomplish something he seeks, for him to be motivated. If his wife only spouts tasks, fails to show him her appreciation or happiness, but instead moves on to the next task he needs to do, she will deny him the one thing he needs to be motivated.
Clues for Women: Men do not see all that you see that needs to be done and are emasculated and demotivated by criticism and demands. Place your eyes on what he is doing that you appreciate and what he can do to help you - instead of on all he is doing wrong. Be specific and loving in your request. As he helps – share your appreciation and let him feel your happiness. This is the result that will motivate and nourish him. He wants to make you happy – help him be successful!
Clues for Men: Understand that tasks are keeping her from joy and pleasure but her awareness of that might be eclipsed by the screaming of tasks. Find out how you can help and support her.
3. Difference: Women tend to have a weak relationship to body vs. men who tend to have a strong relationship to body. No matter how stressed men are they will feel when they are hungry, tired, horny, in need of exercise/sport, or in need of boy time. They are more likely to listen to these cues and do something about it. Women on the other hand when they are stressed or weighted down by their ‘to do list’ are more likely to ignore their body cues for food, rest, exercise, play, affection, sex. In fact, women are likely to push themselves to a point that they are so exhausted they begin to get cranky with everyone else, blaming others for the state she has gotten herself in. Rather than see the choices she has, she is likely to get angry someone did not step in and lighten her load.
Clues for Women: Learn from your man to notice and take care of your body. Keep pleasure, nourishment, rest and fun on your calendar. Remember the airline oxygen mask! You cannot help others until you are healthy yourself!
Clues for Men: Remember that she forgets about herself – her rest, her pleasure, her body, her happiness. Invite her to a nice dinner and take care of all logistics (babysitter?); help her complete a few tasks in the evening and invite her to bed so you can make love TO HER in the way she can feel your love and her pleasure; help her to remember to take time for herself and help her with the logistics of that, tell her she is beautiful and what you love and appreciate about her.
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