As a culture, do we invest any time giving people the skills they need to keep a love alive and vibrant? Do we even know what that means, what that looks like, or how to do such a thing? A couple who actively works to improve their relationship IQ weathers life's challenges with more grace, compassion and love. As they keep growing, so does their relationship.
4. We now live a 24/7 lifestyle. This is an entirely new social phenomenon that has never been the case before. People are working 50+ hours a week, on their communication devices all hours of the night and day, expected to be reachable and attending to multiple demands simultaneously — the email from work, the text from a child, the conversation with a partner, the deadline that is tomorrow, the sale that ends tonight. This is impossible … hello?? … this is impossible to do without losing connection with those closest to you.
To nourish a meaningful, deeply attached relationship with a child, spouse or friend, to nourish love, you need focused time to be thoughtfully and solely with each other … in the moment … present in the now … open heart to open heart. That is the only way. Distracted connections become weak connections and weak connections, with nothing social or internal holding them together, will in time, break. There is no magic wishing that will suffice … they will break.
If these influences negatively affect your love life, discuss how you can bring more TLC into your relationship. Discuss how to wrap space, time and attention around you by putting in a few protective boundaries. For example, no electronics in bed or 15 minutes of quiet music, a glass of wine and a dimly lit room together before bed. Most importantly, discuss what you miss and how to bring more of that into your busy lives, longing hearts and sacred union.