Here’s how it typically goes down. One of you recognizes the proverbial butterflies indicating that that pheromonal musk you whiff is pure love. You anxiously reveal your newfound desire to be totally committed to a full-fledged relationship. Flabbergasted, your lover, a)says he needs time to think, gathers his clothes and bolts out the door; b) is perplexed by your change of heart because he is perfectly content with the way things are; or c) states that he feels the exact same way, rushes into your arms and agrees to let you to toss his hideous bachelor-pad furniture.
There’s no way to know if your partner will respond in favor of your new-found adoration but one thing is for sure. You’ll never get your happily ever after without begin honest about what you really want in your relationship. Friends with benefits tend to unravel because parties find themselves no longer on the same page. You’ll begin fighting for something that was not initially an option. And on top of that, you will find yourself trying to establish an emotional comfort in a relationship that was built on less than solid footing.
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While you may have carefully crafted this friends with benefits thing, true love can be totally unexpected, unplanned, and unconventional. Even if you feel the lovebug infiltrating your non-committed relationship, it’s always best to be honest with yourself and your partner about where each you stands. Understanding that what you wanted in the beginning could and eventually will change over time is key. And it’s okay if it does. What’s not okay is changing the game but not telling all the players.
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Could your friend with benefits turn into your longtime love. Perhaps. But certainly not without an attempt on both your parts to bridge the emotional gap left vacant by your lack of relationship status. If one of you isn’t interested, it probably isn’t meant to be. But if both of you are up for the challenge, it could be worth your while. Remember: in some of the most successful relationships, they were friends before they were lovers.