Just own that hate. You will feel better.
We all wake up in a bad mood some days. Maybe someone hated your blog. Maybe the cat threw up on your favorite shoes. Maybe your boyfriend cheated on you. Or, maybe nothing happened at all. Maybe you just woke up pissed off because you woke up.
I've noticed something about this after living alone for a while, working at home alone, being single, and becoming increasingly a hermit and avoiding most social interactions most days. That is, this still happens to me. I still wake up just angry and devoid of happiness some days.
In the absence of other people around to leave dishes in the sink, pets around to vomit inconveniently, and a partner to fail to make me feel special, I still somehow find reasons to be hateful and angry, sometimes for apparently no reason at all.
So, here is the thing that I've had to accept about that: all the people who say that it REALLY isn't about other people, well, they are right.
It really isn't about other people. If you are feeling angry or hateful, and you have other people around close to you, then you can pretty quickly come up with good reasons to blame your feelings on one of them.
Other people are annoying. They do stupid things. They do things that we don't like and things that we disagree with. They believe really ridiculous things. They are messy. They don't understand things that they SHOULD understand. They are rude when they SHOULD be nice.
And so on, (I know that you know what I mean) you probably know some other people, too. You might even live with some that mess up your life on a daily basis. If you have a spouse or children, I bet that you can come up with at least 5 awful things about each one of them in the next 30 seconds.
But, maybe consider letting them off the hook, consider the possibility that you might feel lousy regardless of anything about them. Consider saying "I feel mad today, but it isn't your fault."
When your toddler pushes those buttons, consider NOT yelling at him. Consider putting on some music, taking him by the hand, and saying "I feel mad, so let's dance before we talk". Maybe try Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off".
I know, maybe that sounds crazy. But, what is the worst that can happen? Will you really be sorry later that you did NOT yell at your child in anger? Will you really be sorry that you did NOT blame your spouse for your bad mood?
Or, send your bad mood my way, instead. Blame me for being annoying, inflammatory, ridiculous, or whatever. I can take it. Plus, I like hearing all your dirt and spreading it around so other people can hear about it. It entertains me, especially when I'm in a bad mood, too.
So, tell me, who do you hate today? Be detailed. Be aggressive. Own it. This is YOUR bad mood. You deserve to LIVE it. And, if you do, if you have the guts to let YOURSELF off the hook, too, and just embrace your own hateful feelings, then a magical thing will happen. You will feel better.
If you are really good at it, you might even find that you never even get sick again, ever. Because, there is a lot of emotional repression that precedes sickness. There is a lot of guilt about hateful feelings that precedes and supports depression.
Just try it. I dare you to let your inner hateful person out. He or she is probably really tired of all the lying and hiding in favor of your trying to be "socially acceptable", "politically correct", "nice", "sane", "peaceful", "evolved", "polite", or whatever.
Fuck being "evolved". Fuck being "peaceful" all the time. Seriously. Just be human. Just be honest. Just be yourself. That is hard enough for most of us most of the time already.
Just go ahead and hate. You are going to do it anyway. We all are. Just do it where you can see it. Don't let it lurk in the shadows and sabotage your relationships, depress you, and make you sick. Liberate yourself. Go ahead, feel it...who do you HATE today?