2. Ask yourself questions and visualize the answers. The technique rests on an assumption that that I explain in my book From Conflict to Resolution: Depression is a disorder of power that is triggered by a dominant-submissive interaction with a person of importance to you and/or over an issue of importance to you. That is, depression is a by-product of a win-lose conflict resolution process in which you have been the loser.
You can do this technique by yourself, with the help of a friend, or with the guidance of a therapist. Close your eyes, and ask yourself the following series of questions. (If you're doing the exercise yourself, read the question aloud, then close your eyes, and repeat for each subsequent question.)
- If I were going to be irritated or mad at someone or something, someone other than myself, who or what would that be?
- As I picture that scene, what is the person doing that annoys me? How do I respond? What do I really want?
- As I continue looking at the scene, who looks bigger, the other person or me? If it's the other person, you are depressed; if it's you, something different is going on.
- By how much do you look smaller?
- Then take deep breathes, and with each deep breath picture yourself growing larger and larger until you feel substantially bigger than the other person.
- Now, from that position of bigness, of empowerment, what can you see that offers you ideas for a new way of solving the problem between you and the other person?
- As you picture the new solution, notice how much stronger and better you continue to feel! Alternatively, if the new solution does not keep you feeling bigger, try creating another option.
3. Try Emotional Freedom Threapy. Lots has been written about Emotional Freedom Therapy, a tapping treatment that's like acupuncture minus the needles. There's now been substantial research that corroborates its effectiveness. Search the internet for EFT research, and to find an EFT practitioner in your locale. 4 Ways To Live Happily Ever After