ProConnect

4 Ways Technology Is Ruining Your Relationship

By

technology in relationships
Are you too tech-savvy for your own good?
Feeling disconnected? It may be time to log off and plug back into your relationship.

2. "Checking things online" interrupts your quality time together. Folks who connect over so many electronic channels with their loved ones may be doing the same with friends and business partners. Therein lies the problem. Maintaining all those connections can slice and dice your time with your main loved one. Each and every interruption to your time alone together diminishes the intensity of your connection. 

3. Virtual connections can't replace physical intimacyWhen you receive a text or read an email, all you get is information. You don't receive smiles, hugs, laughter or touch. What fosters loving feelings with significant others usually involves physical contact—simple things like gazing lovingly at each other, holding hands, whispering sweet nothings. Eye-to-eye and skin-to-skin contact all turn on the love hormone oxytocin. This chemical in your brain enhances your feelings of affection and increases your sense of bonding with your partner. This is something you can't express over a text message.

More from YourTango: Understanding Your Anger & How It Can Hurt Your Relationships

4. Messages are easily misinterpreted. Texts can only convey so much through words without what psychologists call "prosody" or the sound of voices. This means that misinterpretations of texts can run rampant. Sending a text that reads, "See you after work" can be interpreted as an annoyed order if the receiver is sensitive. In this regard, at least phone calls (which add voice to the bandwidth) are less likely to create upsets from misperceptions.

Sharing thoughts makes at least some emotional connection, which is part of why many couples like to talk as a prelude to sex. At the same time, talking enhances connection power when you are physically together, because you can see each other, hear each other and touch each other. And that can never be conveyed over technology of any kind.

More from YourTango: What's Better Than A Big Wedding? A Beautiful Marriage

Psychologist and marriage counselor Susan Heitler, Ph.D. is author of the book, the workbook and the website called Power of Two. These resources are alternatives to counseling for helping couples to communicate in ways that build a strong and loving partnership.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Susan Heitler, Creator Of "Power Of Two Marriage"

Author

Susan Heitler, Ph.D.

www.TherapyHelp.com and PowerOfTwoMarriage.com

Location: Denver, CO
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anger Management, Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Dr. Susan Heitler, creator of "Power of Two Marriage":

How To Fix A Relationship With 7 Simple Tips

By

If you've been feeling frustrated that your relationship is in trouble, don't panic! Getting professional help from a counseling program or therapist may be important eventually, and it's an option you should keep in mind. First though, it's important to try to recharge your battery together. Here are 7 surprisingly effective quick fixes to ... Read more

3 Ways Jealousy Helps A Relationship

By

Jealousy in a relationship can invite distrust followed by finger-pointing accusations and regrettable arguments. Sound like a recipe for disaster? Yet there also are multiple ways that jealousy can prove to be helpful. Like most family therapists, I regard unpleasant behaviors as solutions. Following the mantra "a symptom is a solution," a ... Read more

Understanding Your Anger & How It Can Hurt Your Relationships

By

When you're not getting something you want, or getting something that you don't want, anger may surge. Beware, as excessive anger is one of the leading causes of divorce, and can cause significant damage to children, friendships, and work relationships. How effective is your anger control?  What Is Anger? Anger wells up in ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Sex: How To Make Your Wife In The Mood For Sex

Are You The Tortoise Or The Hare In The Bedroom?

If he's ready and you're not, consider putting on a sexy fashion show for him.

coming out

Coming Out In A Marriage: 6 Unrealistic Expectations

When a spouse comes out, a lot of stuff hits the fan.

Marriage: How To Grow Your Marriage

Spring Has Sprung: Why It's Time To 'Water' Your Marriage

Are you tending your marriage or are you letting weeds overtake it? Here are the habits of growing

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS