3. Gaze, touch and speak softly. Many of us did not bond very well with our parents or early caregivers — so we tend to become defensive or walk around with our guard up. But did you know that as adults, you can help one another heal those insecurities? Research in adult attachment has shown that the things that help babies feel safe and secure — soft, loving gazes, nurturing touch and soothing voice tones — are the same things that help partners become, "securely attached." So, whenever you sense that your partner is stressed or upset, offer calm reassuring touch, words of support in a soothing tone of voice, or gaze at your partner with love in your eyes.
My forthcoming book, "Awakening Intimacy," describes and guides you through a number of powerful exercises like this — designed to teach you how to help each other heal old wounds in your adult relationships.