2. Keep the conversation age appropriate. When a child is younger, use a story telling technique (Fisher, 2000) and keep the language simple. As the child ages, and becomes more mature, more sophisticated language can be used.
3. Be honest but don’t scare the child. If you don’t know something, then say, “I don’t know.” If the child was a product of rape for instance, “You don't want to start out by saying your mommy and daddy loved each other very much," says Lois Melina, author of Making Sense of Adoption and Raising Adopted Children. "You can say something that would imply that their parents didn't know each other very well."
4. Help your child learn how to express their emotions about being adopted. This can be done not only through talking but through drawing or making a life book.
Addressing the adopted child’s past is the key to helping them move towards a bright future.