Encouragement is acknowledgement. Children need to be encouraged and acknowledged to build high self esteem. As parents, we have the amazing power to help shape our children's development.
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Here are 6 tips on how to build your child’s self esteem. I suggest beginning this journey by telling him or her, “I believe in you!”
1. Praise your child for good behaviour. Look for opportunities to positively comment on the things they are doing well. Take the time to notice. We manage to notice when the behaviour is not good and we need to correct it. We often take good behaviour for granted as something that SHOULD happen!
2. If you need to change a behaviour, focus on the BEHAVIOUR not on the CHILD. It’s the behaviour you don’t like, you still love the child. For example; instead of saying something like “I don’t like your attitude.” Say “I don’t like you speaking to me in that tone of voice.”
3. When your child makes a mistake, help them to learn from it by discussing what happened and what could happen next time (if there is one). No matter how tempting, avoid saying “I told you so.” It’s so unhelpful, even if you did, and you hated it didn’t you?
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4. Acknowledge effort, even if the result isn’t great. When something doesn’t work, it’s not a failure. Some of the world’s greatest inventors failed many, many times.
5. Allow your child to be right sometimes. Help them to develop their communication skills by persuading you that their way will work.
6. Pick your battles. Allow your child to win sometimes. Choose those battles carefully. A safe battle may be the perennial battle over homework. We can nag all we like and talk about the consequence of what might happen at school if homework is not done and still not get through. Allowing your child to discover those consequences for themselves may have more effect on the future behaviour than your nagging. It’s a safe lesson in consequences. http://www.more-selfesteem.com/tipsforparents.htm
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