Sex Positions: All You Really Need To Know


Sex Positions: All You Really Need To Know
The best position is the one you enjoy most!

Did you know that one of the top searches on the Internet is "sex positions"? That shows us a couple of things:

  1. People use sex positions as a common way to spice up their sex lives. 
  2. People need information about how to do certain positions.
  3. People think that the more positions they know, the better a lover they are.

I think reasons number one and number two are accurate, but reason number three, well, yes and no. Just knowing more positions doesn't make someone a better lover. If you become too focused on positions, you may also be overly concerned with performance. Instead of showing your partner affection, you're caught up in showing off sexual prowess. That's usually considered a turn-off, not a turn-on!


In reality, there are really just a few positions with some variation. Here they are:

  • Missionary position
  • Woman-on-top
  • Rear entry (aka "doggy style")
  • Standing up

If you’d like illustrations, check out this R-rated/bordering on PG-13 article from Cosmopolitan. In any case, the best position for sex is...the one you enjoy! If you and your partner want to do missionary style every single time you have intercourse, go for it!

A few tips for making sexual positions better, easier, or more pleasurable:

  • Use pillows to prop up body parts to make entry easier or to bring greater contact between genitals or other body parts. (Remember Meet the Fockers, where Barbara Streisand's character used Liberator pillows?)
  • Check in to see if the position really is pleasurable for your partner.
  • Use lubrication, always, but especially when trying a new position because you may be tense or find it awkward at first.
  • Try shifting around in the position, varying speed (slow, fast, slow alternating with fast), depth of penetration, direction (around in circles vs. in and out).
  • Add a vibrator such as a vibrating cock ring or WeVibe, or use a small handheld vibrator (remember most women need direct clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm).
  • Try the "coital alignment" technique.
  • Wait until you are really excited before beginning intercourse in any position to increase opportunity for female orgasm during penetration.
  • Experiment. The worst that can happen is that you will fall off the bed and have a good laugh!

Sex is supposed to be a fun and exciting experience for you and your lover. Make sure you are using the sex positions to add to your pleasure and not to show off your skills. And don't forget the tips you've just learned! 

More advice on sex positions on YourTango:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Stephanie Buehler


Are you curious about how a more fulfilling sex life?  In addition to  in-person sex therapy at The Buehler Institute in Newport Beach, CA, Dr. Buehler has written books for both general and professional readers.  The Buehler Institute is also approved by the APA, California BBS, and AASECT as a provider of continuing education.  Visit The Buehler Institute site or to find out more.

Location: Newport Beach, CA
Credentials: CST, Other, PsyD
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