Dating Made Easier

By

Dating Made Easier

Whether you meet online or offline the principles of meeting and getting to know one another are very much the same. The problems that come up when dating are often about trying to impress the other with your beauty, charm, wit, intellect, money, status or whatever else you decide is important.

The truth is that trying to impress each other, especially members of the opposite sex, is as old as mankind. Humans impressed and attracted each other in order to survive. After all Mother Nature mandated that we reproduce… but that was before birth control. In today’s world reproduction may be of interest to some but not to everyone.

 

Nowadays each person gets to decide what is important to him or her when seeking a mate. The first step in this process is dating. For the purposes of this article I will define dating very simply as going out socially with another person often when there is a romantic interest.

What follows are some basic principles to keep in mind to help make dating easier.

Dating is a sorting process.

Recognize that in order to find a good, compatible partner you may have to sort through several who are only fair or even not so fair candidates. Keep that in mind so that you don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

Dating can be enjoyable.

If you are just going out socially with someone why not relax and enjoy yourself? The tendency to try to impress your date may be strong but don’t let this feeling overwhelm you. It is important to keep in mind that even though everyone tries to “perform” at their best on a date, it is not the Olympics! Your performance will not be seen by millions.

Dating is not life threatening!

This may sound silly but many daters are so concerned about how they will appear that they cause themselves unnecessary anxiety and sometimes even panic. Most likely, the day after your date life will go on as usual. A date is a date and nothing more. Keep that thought uppermost in your mind to maintain a balanced perspective.

Be yourself but not full of yourself.

Okay, you are trying to impress your date so you exaggerate your accomplishments and your importance in the world. What’s the harm in that? Well, that depends on how much you exaggerate and whether you are pretending to be someone you’re not. If you start down that slippery path you may be sabotaging yourself. Humility and integrity happen to be attractive characteristics.

Read the next article, Building A Great Relationship, for tips on how get the relationship you want.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Stan Hyman

Counselor/Therapist

 Helping individuals, couples and business partners create solutions to problems and develop the great relationships they desire.

Location: Aventura (Miami), FL
Credentials: CSW, LCSW, PhD, SAP
Other Articles/News by Dr. Stan Hyman:

How To Choose A Love Partner

By

Looking At Yourself First Am I feeling needy? Do you feel as though, without this person in your life, you would become mentally, physically and emotionally impoverished? If so, think about why? Is he appealing to the part of you that never had enough nurturing, that could never please your parent(s) causing you to want even more from him/her? You might ... Read more

Common Happiness Myths You Must Start Ignoring Today

By

Happiness, like any emotion is never constant but will likely come and go as will boredom and dissatisfaction. Happiness is a state of being content, in good cheer and generally experiencing feelings of optimism. It is a state of mind which ebbs and flows and has highs and lows. Most people can feel happy for at least a short period of time (unless a person ... Read more

Are You Addicted To Sex?

By

From a strict medical perspective an addiction is a compulsive physiological need for and use of a habit-forming substance (such as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol). A person’s system builds a tolerance, if he suddenly stops using then he will develop negative physiological symptoms which we call withdrawal. By the medical definition having excessive ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular