Intuition and perceptiveness in women are usually regarded as assets, and they are, if used well. But sometimes women assume they’re being perceptive when they’re actually “reading in” messages that are not there. When these perceived messages are hurtful to her or otherwise push her buttons, trouble begins both for her and her relationship.
Two days ago, one of my clients illustrated this very common phenomenon in a scenario with her husband. Adella is three months postpartum. She hadn’t left the house to do anything but chores since the baby was born. At the time she first contacted me, she had cabin fever and was quite emotionally and physically depleted. All her energy had been focused on her baby. Resentment of her husband was high since it seemed like his life hadn’t changed much at all. She had been feeling like almost all of the house and child responsibilities had been on her shoulders.
Adella’s husband Dave is a “good guy,” she acknowledged. Ever since their daughter was born, he’d been trying to support his wife and encouraging her to take some time for herself. So far she had refused, never giving herself permission to leave the house just to take care of herself.