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What Role Does POWER Play In Your Relationship?

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What Role Does POWER Play In Your Relationship?
A young woman who "idolized" Anthony Wiener comes forward to talk about her role in the sex scandal.

A young woman has come forward to reveal that Anthony Wiener continued his sexting behavior after his resignation from congress. She is a political activist who “idolized” the former congressman. This story from CNN http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/25/politics/weiner-messages-woman/index.html?... as well as the sexts posted on TheDirty.com revealed the identity of one of the “several” women with whom Wiener admitted to online sexual communication.

  • Why was the 48 year old former political powerhouse involved with a 22 year old woman? 
  • Why was superstar Arnold Schwarzenegger involved with his housekeeper?
  • Why was one of the world’s most famous athletes, Tiger Woods seeking out cocktail waitresses?

The easy conclusion is sure, men are interested in attractive young women. There is more going on than that simple explanation.  None of these women are anything like the women these powerful men marry. The other incentive is POWER.

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WHO HAD POWER IN THESE MARRIAGES?

Anthony  Wiener is married to Huma Abedin, a highly educated and accomplished woman in her own right. Eliot Spitzer’s wife Hilda Wall Spitzer is a Harvard educated attorney who has had an outstanding career, Arnold Schwarzenegger was married to the very well- known and successful Maria Shriver. These are women of great substance, extremely accomplished and who, undoubtedly, felt equal to their famous husbands.  When these men act out sexually they do not choose the type of women that they looked to marry, they choose women who have very little control and power in their relationships. A prostitute, as in the case of Eliot Spitzer, allows the person paying the ultimate physical control in the “relationship.”

Our spouses are not awed by us, no matter how rich or successful we are. They see us without the lights, the cameras and the fans. They know our foibles and our weaknesses. They do not “idolize” us. If our relationship is fundamentally good our spouses love us in spite of our flaws and failings.  Someone who chooses a partner who is much younger, less well educated, less accomplished or with less money is often looking for someone they can easily control or manipulate.  We do not have to answer to or respect someone without power in the relationship. Insecure people seek out others where they have most of the control.

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How can these great and powerful people be insecure? Confidence fundamentally comes from within, not from external accomplishment. Terrible emotional insecurity can persist from problems in our earlier life or childhood that continue to haunt even after achieving many external symbols of success. Men and women of great success can, in fact, be driven to their accomplishment by underlying insecurity.  People with inner demons can turn to possessions or alcohol or sex to try to fill their emptiness if they are unwilling to try to grapple with their insecurities or admit to weakness. It is easier to flirt or get drunk than to come to grips with your greatest fears.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr Robin Goldstein

Psychologist

Dr. Goldstein is a licensed psychologist with over thirty years experience helping individuals free themselves of fear and anxiety and living their best life possible.She has worked extensively with couples, helping them maximize the potential for joy in their relationships as well as working with people suffering the grief of separtion, divorce and loss from ones they love.

 

Please visit my blog at www.robingoldstein.net/blog

Follow Dr Goldstein on Twitter at www.twitter.com/drrgoldstein

Location: Boca Raton, FL
Credentials: EdD
Other Articles/News by Dr Robin Goldstein:

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