How Porn Can Wreck Your Sex Life

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How Porn Can Wreck Your Sex Life
Both men and women often have unrealistic expectations of their sex lives because of porn.

Once pornography went online and so many more people had access to it, it went mainstream. Many young people today have always been around porn and have seen a lot more of it than their parents ever did. Youth is a time of experimentation for most people, and sexual experimentation is part of that. My generation hid under the covers and read dirty books. Teenagers today can find depictions of every type of sexual behavior at their fingertips (and away from the prying eyes of their parents).

FROM TEEN BOYS TO YOUNG MEN

 

Surveys show that the biggest users of porn are teenage and young adult males. This isn't surprising, as it's a period in their lives with lots of interest and curiosity about sex but often little access to sexual partners. What's the impact on their sex lives? Many young men are discovering their sexuality with virtual partners as opposed to girls and women in their lives. 

GIRLS ARE INTO PORN TOO

As the enormous success of E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey continues, women can be enormously enthusiastic about porn too. Young women don't seem to be using porn at the same rates as young men. They seem to use porn more in the context of an existing relationship, to increase arousal, share excitement with a partner, or learn new sexual behaviors.

HOW DOES PORN CAUSE TROUBLE IN OUR SEX LIVES?

Young men learning about sex primarily from porn can develop very unrealistic expectations about sex. Online porn features men and women who are always excited, are usually focused more on the male partner's pleasure, are willing to be more experimental than the average person, and tend to have bodies that are not typical of the kind of person with whom most of us have sex.

If a man grows up expecting the type of stimulation offered in porn, he may find it difficult to adjust to the reality of sex with a living, breathing sexual partner. This is why therapists are starting to hear from more people who can't get sufficiently aroused with their real-life partners and turn to fantasy porn partners instead. And women who peruse the Fifty Shades genre often expect a level of romance and excitement that is easy to find in erotic books, but difficult to maintain in a day-to-day relationship.

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