ProConnect

12 Relationship "Do's" For A More Loving Holiday Season

By

12 Relationship "Do's" For A More Loving Holiday Season
Relationships often get rocky during holidays. Make a positive difference with these 12 do's now!

TWELVE RELATIONSHIP “DO’S” FOR THE HOLIDAYS ….and every day!  Relationship help that, well…really helps!

People fall in love, get engaged and get married over the holidays.  People visit families and feel at home, or remember why they seldom visit.  People react to the stress of the holidays poorly and relationships crack, develop fracture lines, or fall apart.

More from YourTango: Huge Relationship Secret: One Thing Never to Do To Your Partner

With those things in mind, here are twelve things you can do if you want your relationships to thrive, not just survive,  during the holiday season.  In fact, these will work for every day of your life, too!

 

  1. BE AN APPRECIATOR: Notice what people do, say and express that demonstrates they care…even if it is only in their own way, not yours. Just because something doesn’t resonate with you as thoughtful, considerate or delightful, consider that they were doing their best and appreciate that.
     
  2. BE FOCUSED ON WHAT’S WORKING. It’s easy to be a fault-finder. That doesn’t help any relationship. Catch people doing things right, well, or graciously and comment on that. It saves relationships, and, with practice, it saves you wear, tear and energy. Finding fault is a big energy leak!
     
  3. BE ALIGNED WITH YOUR VALUES. If you say family is very important to you and then you neglect to treat each and everyone of them as important enough to talk to and spend time with, you are out of alignment. If running around trying to get things done becomes more important than paying attention to folks you say you care about, give your head a shake!
     
  4. BE AWARE THAT GOOD ENOUGH IS GOOD ENOUGH.  Perfectionists beware! The holidays is a time when you can drive yourself–and those around you–crazy with making things perfect, or as perfectionists are fond of saying hoping that folks will agree, “making things as good as they can be.” Give that up! Good enough is good enough, and perfect is unattainable. Let yourself off the hook and everyone around you will breathe easier, too!  (P.S. Refer to #1 and appreciate yourself and others for the doing, if not for the perfect outcome! )
     
  5. BE WILLING TO TRY NEW THINGS.  Whether you are presented with a new food, a new gadget, or a person with a new attitude, be open. Closed minds shut people out, and prevent you from enjoying new experiences. Yes, it’s true. “Try it. You might like it.”  is a good idea.
     
  6. BE AWARE OF THE NEEDS OF OTHERS. Remembering that we are not the center of the universe is a truly grown-up thing to do. Sure, we appreciate having our needs met by others, but we’re big girls and boys now. We can delay our gratification. When you focus on meeting the needs of others, a magical thing happens: others are more likely to meet your needs!  And, yes, you are such a big girl or boy that you can meet your own needs in most cases, and can ask for what you need and want when required.  Use your words now…lol.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
The Relationship Help Doctor
Counseling. Mediation. Coaching. 

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor. She makes it easier to talk about difficult things. Working with individuals, couples & families, she offers the relationship skills, insights and solutions that create greater emotional intimacy through better communication, conflict management and collaboration. You can work with her online through Skype® or Google+, by phone, or in-person in her office in Escondido, CA by visiting The Optimize Center website.. For immediate help, subscribe to her blog & newsletter at RelationshipHelpDoctor.com 

FREE CHECKLISTS:  Relationship Checklist.   Passive-Aggressive Checklist.  Personal Integrity Checklist 

Follow me on FACEBOOK & LINKEDIN

Location: Escondido, CA
Credentials: PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler:

Huge Relationship Secret: One Thing Never to Do To Your Partner

By

"What are the biggest relationship issues couples encounter?" Every radio interviewer asks me that same question. Then they go on to wanting to know what issues can be fixed easily, which ones take time, and which are likely never to be fixed. There is ONE HUGE issue that is often clear when I work with couples, and it is such a familiar pattern ... Read more

4 Questions To Ask To Reduce Your Holiday Stress

By

It's holiday time. Time for seeing friends and relatives, creating traditions, celebrating together. Time for taking time to connect. Time for family relationships and traditions. Time that sometimes seems a little scarce throughout the rest of the year. Sounds great! But a small problem. Somehow, during the holidays, time becomes even scarcer! Instead ... Read more

Real Grown-Ups Don't Fight: 3 Things They Know That You Don't

By

Fighting is what kids do. They do it because they are trying to establish boundaries, power and a sense of who they are. They have no skills and they react to life in a sometimes aggressive or defensive way. They are fighting for space, control, respect and autonomy. That's how we know they are not yet grown-ups! Those we consider to be adults are ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Brain

Why Do Men Hide Their Emotions?

The emotional processing in the male and female brain is not the same....

The Secrets To Happiness Start With You

The Secrets To Happiness Start With You

Look within to center yourself and discover lasting joy.

Pigs

What is Romance?

By redefining your definition of romance your love life can improve.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS