2. Love doesn't require manipulation.
Manipulation is one of the reasons why relationships fall short of the love we hope to find. You don’t have to work so hard to attract, get, keep, win, capture or tie down a lover. First of all, this is not a safari. Your partner is not an animal, and if you treat him or her like one, don’t be surprised if they're unhappy in captivity.
Also, you cannot rely on your partner's love, approval, and acknowledgment to feel good about yourself. This will cause you to be dependent and you'll feel the need to manipulate them to get their attention. This is fear-based behavior and it only leads to pain. Security, harmony and self-esteem are "do-it-yourself" sensations. If you're asking your partner to be your "Prince Charming" by providing things that only you can give yourself, you put him in an impossible situation. You will both lose. Love or Fear: What is Really Happening in Your Relationship?
Finally, your relationship will never be a good one if you start it with lies, pretense, or deception. If you put on any type of mask to please your partner, he may fall in love with what you have pretended to be, but the real you will be left feeling unloved and lonely. You need to free yourself of all the stressful thoughts and feelings that make you believe you are somehow not perfect just the way you are. When you can do that, you'll feel naturally fulfilled, and others, including your partner, will notice you shine.
3. Love is an expression of your "true self."
This is the greatest secret of the three. Nothing compares to the genuine openness of the heart. That's why pure, divine, and unconditional love feels so good to us! It's the kind of love everyone hungers for, whether they know it or not.
You can find this great love in your innermost self and cultivate it. Eventually, it will heal everything about you that is based in fear—the fear that somehow you are lacking, unlovable, or undeserving of the love you've been hoping for ever since you were young. Stop Blaming Others: The Power Of Owning Our Imperfections
There are simple steps you can take to overcome your habits of self-doubt and tap into the source of love within you. To start, I suggest signing up for my free 10 days of HeartSourcing meditations, and to learn the Skills for Awakening® to help discover your lovable self. It is the most attractive and the most important thing you can do.