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Influence on Our Thinking


If the constant barrage of “bad news” about wars or violence or terrorist threats to our safety is getting you down for sex, read on. In these difficult times, many couples are feeling pressured to be sexual when all they really want to do is curl up in little balls, be held or just nod off to sleep. Depressive feelings are common during times of such global duress.

Whichever way you are leaning, it’s okay. Be at peace with yourself. Know that some people react to stress and threat of our very lives by feeling more sexual, desire more frequent sex as escape or to feel more closeness with a partner. Others are in that mode of “shut down” from lack of interest, energy or ability to relax in a waking state. If you find yourself in a state of constant anxiety or long for ways to feel more peaceful, here are some ideas for you:

  1. Set aside ten minutes each day to focus on what makes you feel at peace. Maybe it’s a walk in the woods or the garden, listening to a meditation tape or relaxing music on a CD or on your smartphone from the iTunes store.
  2. Spend at least five minutes a day in touch. You can rub the back of a cat, sensually caress your beloved’s face or masturbate to your heart’s delight. But make sure that you allow touch on your own body (or through the exchange of touch) each day.
  3. Focus on pleasure. Find simple daily pleasures to make you feel good, inside and out. Maybe you hire a masseuse to give you a Swedish massage or you eat a whole hot fudge sundae (consciously, though, not as an escape or self punishment); use your time and indulge your senses wisely and fully to feel pleasure.
  4. Get in touch with your spiritual side. If it’s going to temple, church or prayer, or activating your practice of yoga, open yourself to the divine aspects of life itself. During these trying times a connection with the Infinite Energy Source, call it God, G-D, Allah, Mohammed, White Feather, Higher Power, or whatever, will help you weather the storms of peril or threat to your own equanimity. May we all find a more peaceful planet today.

Dr. Patti Britton is a Clinical Sexologist, Sexuality Educator and Master Sex Coach with top level credentials.   As a well-respected pioneer and leader in the field of sexology, she is the author of hundreds of articles, four amazing books, and is former columnist for Penthouse Forum. Dr. Patti is a Your Tango expert, popular speaker, sought-after trainer and workshop leader, blogs on her own websites and hosts over 40 DVDs for women’s and couples’ sexual enhancement.

She has a private practice in Los Angeles and via Skype globally. Dr. Patti is the Co-Founder of SexCoachU, the world’s premier training and credentialing institute for sex coaching.  Her coaching career was inspired by being in the presence of Thomas Leonard, and her two amazing coaches, Julian Cohen and Cheryl Richardson.

This article was originally published at Reprinted with permission from the author.


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