Lacking sex in your marriage? Sexual healing can help!—TRY IT
Sex does not have to be a dreaded chore in marriage. It can become a magical dance of intimacy and pleasure. It does not have to be something "you have to do" ... like the laundry and dishes. Sex can be a fun way to reconnect and create a playful and positive attitude in marriage and partnership.
I know ... when you are bitter, resentful, and even shut down emotionally this seems like a painful leap of faith.
I had lost my sexual appetite early on in marriage. This was a shock to me because I had always loved being sexual and had great partners to share in orgasmic pleasure. My connection to my husband was strong and we had created two amazing children, so when I lost my desire for sex I knew something was deeply off in my body.
I know now that the pressures of being a new mom, new wife and new doctor in business had put pressures on me that I did not anticipate. And for the first few years after becoming a new parent I totally lost interest in sex. In fact I can remember telling my husband, Randy, that I was pregnant with our second child and he exclaimed "Really? We only had sex once this month." As I reviewed his surprise, I realized that we had some sexual dysfunction going on in our partnership but I had no tools in my healing toolbox to fix our relationship.
It took a good three years for us to take action. Neither of us knew what to do other than take on the new sexual void as a "normal" part of our marriage. And in doing so I began to take on a hardened and resentful attitude towards our relationship. I was sexual and I wanted to be sexual. But as we sunk deeper into disconnect I did not know what to do other than shove the feelings under the rug and keep going on with life as a mother and healer.
I can remember years of sexless marriage and constant fighting. On the outside we looked happy and like a good friendly marriage, but on the inside we were dying to connect and our marriage was falling apart. Our marriage faced its ultimate test of stress as we built a large wellness center and yoga studio. And we quickly became unhealthy people navigating through a very stressful period of time without any sexual intimacy.
As fate would have it the right program at the right time floated into Randy’s hands just in time to save our marriage. We did not know what we were doing at all but he signed us up for a long weekend study of Tantra and the Art of Conscious Love. As healers we knew that we needed help but the idea of sexual healing seemed so far off to me and my attitude had been so weakened by resentment that I was not at all in a position to go away to have sex with Randy.
But by doing the intensive weekend study and exploring new pathways I realized a few amazing things about healing in relationship. Intimacy and love has to be a practice and this practice can radically alter your attitude about love, receiving love. This one workshop opened up a world of sexual healing that I did not even know existed. And it helped me realize that any marriage has true potential when partners are willing to explore sexual intimacy and loving practices.
By practicing what we learned at the Tantra weekend we set off on a path that is like no other. Randy and I learned to readjust our attitude towards each other and communicate more clearly just by connecting and practicing some of the powerful exercises available through Tantra. I did not think that my marriage was salvageable prior to Tantra and Sexual Healing. I felt like the disconnect was permanent and we were damaged for life.
My injured feelings were wrong and more than 10 years later and still going strong practicing sexual healing techniques, coaching others and writing about sexual healing and relationships, I realize that sex is the fast forward on healing.
Sexual healing brings all that you are unwilling to deal with right up to the surface so that you can see it, feel it and deal with it. It stirs up all of the unwanted energy that you do not need in your relationship and turns it into real and honest love. And the pain and hardships that you face, or may not be facing, can be dealt with openly with sexual healing.
Healing your relationship is possible. You can reconnect even in the darkest and most stressful times. You can look at each other again and connect intimately with the passion you had at the beginning of your relationship. Somewhere deep inside of you I know you want to connect and heal. Sexual healing does not mean intercourse. It means connection, communication, love and real partnership. It is my joy and pleasure to help couples find the path to a new attitude about sex and now intimacy. It is an amazing way to expedite healing in any marriage and can help strengthen the bonds between you as partners. www.sacredosexuality.com