When it comes to pleasure, don't settle for anything less than the real deal.
Are you a woman on the go who barely has time to have sex, let alone think about your orgasm? Do the pressures of life have you disconnected and afraid to let go and feel pleasure? Do you feel that faking your orgasm is necessary?
If you fake your orgasm, you're not alone. For many of us, we find reasons not to have sex, we avoid feeling what is happening down low and, most of all, we turn off sensation and pleasure. Our lives have become so stressful that having an orgasm is the last thing on our list.
When the time does come around for intimacy and sex we're left with one choice: FAKE it.
Faking an orgasm is real. But, when you acknowledge your fake out, you can begin to connect to your orgasm in new and exciting ways. Realizing that orgasms have healing energy and power can help ease any stress that plagues your day.
In order to get back to the real deal, you may have to dive into the signs that you're faking your orgasm and recognize that this is actually happening and a real part of your life.
It's tricky to navigate the bedroom dynamics when it comes to sexual pleasure because there's a lot that comes into play when a woman wants to have sex and orgasm.
Time alone with your partner, intimacy issues, feeling good in your body and performance all contribute to a successful orgasm.
But before you fake it again, take the time to recognize these five signals that you're faking and make a conscious decision to dedicate yourself to discovering the power of your orgasm:
1. You Have Sex Only To Please Your Partner
Your partner begs and pleads with you and you finally give in to please them. You're tired, exhausted and your partner wants to "make love". The thought makes you want to vomit but you go ahead and take part in the process because you know in your heart that you have to connect to keep the relationship going.
So you go through the act of sex to make sure that your partner is happy in the relationship and all the while knowing that you can’t let go of the spinning thoughts in your head.
Midway through you suddenly think, OMG I have to do something or my partner will feel like I don’t want to do this! So you moan, groan and make some amazing sounds and movements, panting at the end and throwing yourself at the feet of the mercy of sexual intercourse.
All along your head is somewhere else and you barely feel anything.
2. You're Thinking Of All The Things You Have To Do After Having Sex
Your mind is way off in the tasks and chores you have to do as a woman. You're drifting off into some space that you don't belong and wondering how you're going to have sex at all. The job, bills, your friends, your kids, and the laundry all wander into your mind as you try to go through the sex act.
You feel distant and disconnected so you begin to rub your hands all over your partners body and tell them how much this means to you. Despite the fact that you are wishing you were somewhere else.
3. You're Gritting Your Teeth During Sexual Foreplay And Intercourse
The tension in your face is a true sign that you are faking. During the act you feel yourself bare down in your mouth and grit your teeth. You wonder how you are going to tell your partner that sex is making your feel uncomfortable.
Writhing and moving you begin to think of the most sexual porn star and the sounds she makes. You begin to mimic those sounds in hopes that you might transform the experience into something incredible.
After it's over you fling yourself on the bed and exclaim, "That was the best sex ever, honey!"
4. Your Vagina Feels Dry And Worn Out
You say, "Yes" to sex and immediately regret it. Your vagina is dry like sand paper. It feels as if nothing is happening at all down low and even the best lube on earth cannot save you from this moment.
Your vagina is saying this is a fake out moment so you start to fantasize about the guy you saw at the coffee shop that had just come out of a Cross Fit Class sweaty and pumped up. But, once again, your mind drifts away to another place and it is all you can do to stay in the game and get off.
5. You Tell Your Partner It Was Amazing When You REALLY Feel Violated And Alone
Inside of you are tears and pain but you fake it and smile after what seemed like amazing sex. Exclamations of "WOW!" come out of you as you valiantly cover up the tears of pain and hardship in bed.
Each and every one of these orgasmic fake-outs is a tool that you may use to avoid feeling the pulse and flow of your vagina and its amazing power. In every fake out, although you're in some other place feeling some other sensation, there's a trace of an orgasm that could be used to come into the lower part of your body to build up tension release into bliss.
The problem with most orgasms is that they need time and focus and if the orgasm is not being nurtured and built up with attention and mindfulness then you're driven to take another path and fake it. The sounds, feelings and need to get out of your head are incredible tools for helping you descend into your base and feel more connected to pleasure and bliss.
What is important to realize is that behind the wall of tension and stress lives an amazing experience of energy, love and passion.
Your orgasm is the answer you've been wanting in your life, and all you have to do is realize that it may need your attention just as much as all of your other responsibilities. It can help you connect, heal, feel, open up and be fantastic.
The effort used for your faux 'o' is the actual action you need to get your energy surging, pulsing and flowing.
For more information on Dr. Pam Denton and her programs for healing sex, sexuality and orgasms, visit here.