Why do we set up too resolve multiple resolutions?
It's a New Year and so many of us have made "New Year's Resolutions."
Well, how about we begin the New Year out by breaking this pattern, which usually only ends with feelings of guilt and instead of happiness.
Why? News flash: about 96% of our resolutions are not completed and how does that help us make this (or any New Year) great for us?
You see—there absolutely is a magic to resolutions. There is a magic to resolutions that come from the heart and with a commitment to follow through because you just cannot help yourself but pursue that goal, that dream. Only those are the ones we will act towards with determined actions. Only those are the ones we will not let out of sight even when there seem to be some road blocks in our way. Only those are the ones we will achieve.
Resolutions that follow the general conventions or social conditioning have a tendency to not work out. Please note that I am not categorizing such resolutions as "failures" or "mistakes." I do not believe in these terms in that way.
Instead, I simply notice that a lot of resolutions around the New Year follow certain trends: weight loss, stop smoking, work out, eat better, and so forth. There is nothing at all wrong with any of those but why do we need the New Year to think about these or begin to implement them? This is where social conditioning and a guarantee of about 96% non-fulfillment comes into play.
For example, we only lose weight or manage our weight better when we are committed to it; something happens to us and we know: THIS IS IT. Otherwise all attempts about a different weight (which may not be your IDEAL weight anyhow) tend to end differently from the stated goal, often in what is known as "yoyo dieting." This is just one example for those of us worrying about our weight.
Another, possibly more profound example could be about driving, specifically driving the speed limit. Do you? No, you do not have to answer, but as I often mention to my clients and students there is only one thing that will lead you to determined action to drive the speed limit. It is not your New Year's Resolution. It is not the fact that you could get a ticket. It is not the fact that you know you should.
The only thing that can lead you to that is a change of heart and mind and those usually are connected to deep or possibly traumatic experiences. Think about "texting while driving" …
The question then is: How do we resolve our resolutions?
Here are some suggestions:
- Forget about New Year's resolutions unless you want to be grumpy in about 3 weeks at the latest.
- Reconnect with YOUR passion.
- Identify YOUR passion and how you can live it.
- Find your purpose.
- Identify behaviors that aid you in pursuing your passion & purpose and those that do not.
- Find actionable steps to implement new patterns that will aide you in pursuing your passion & purpose.
- Find a mentor and a support team.
- Begin to implement your action steps.
Now you are on your way to resolve your resolutions and it does not matter what time of year it is.
Of course, these 8 steps are just the beginning, but you can use them for all parts of your life and begin to experience happiness, balance and success all over again.