How To Help Your Kids Cope With Your Divorce

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How To Help Your Kids Cope With Your Divorce [EXPERT]
Can you tell the difference between normal, developmental difficulties and depression?

After the divorce, Susan's behavior changed. She cleaned her room neatly, she washed the dishes at night and constantly asked her mom if she could help with something in the house. She was reluctant to join her friends to go and play without double checking with her mother many times to make sure it was okay. Susan was excessively nervous for her mother's well being.

The Clinging Child: Samantha was an only child and used to getting a lot of attention from her parents. They loved to spoil her with toys. They took such good care of her that they would try to do things to prevent her from crying. In nursery school, Samantha shied away from aggressive boys and played "house" with other quiet girls like her.

 

After the divorce, Samantha refused to let her mother out of her sight. Every morning, she cried when being dropped off at nursery school and at night, she wanted her mother to lie down with her before she went to sleep. Samantha even refused now to be left with her grandparents so her mother could go food shopping for half an hour. Samantha was suffering from separation anxiety.

The Child As The Baby: Max was an active, fun-loving 3 1/2-year-old with lots of friends. He smiled easily and often liked to play competitive games at home and with friends. He was proud to be the first in his nursery school who was toilet trained. He often helped at home by doing things like cleaning the plates off the table after dinner.

After the divorce, Max started acting silly to get attention. He would crawl on the living room floor and sometimes lie on the couch and ask for a bottle. What was most frustrating for his mother is that he stopped doing many of the things he did on his own. He stopped brushing his teeth, tying his shoes, or even washing himself in the tub. He wanted his mother to do that for him now, because Max was suffering from regressive behavior.

Most of these behavior difficulties can be overcome with proper parenting advice. Don't be alarmed or concerned as long as they don't linger beyond six months. However, there are behaviors of children that do require immediate help from a mental health professional. These behaviors include a child being dangerous to himself or others, a suicidal child, an extremely depressed child or an openly defiant and aggressive child. In such cases, you should take the child immediately to a child psychiatrist or a child clinical psychologist. 5 Ways Divorce Benefits Your Kids

 
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