4) Rehearse. Anything you want to do well, needs practice. I expect a lot of emotion will likely come up in this conversation. By having dry-runs with your partner, you can work through some of those moments and learn to anticipate and rehearse what things you could say if unconstructive, attack, shame or blame comments get throw in.
Anticipating rough spots, if any come up, gives you the opportunity to plan for modeling the ability to own your own emotion, and that it got in the way of what you really want them to get, namely, you are committed from this moment on to communicate more effectively to be heard. How To Become A Better Listener
5) Remind them at the end, where you started. The two most important things you both want them to take away from this conversation is this decision is not because of anything they have done or failed to do. This is not their fault, #1 ... and, that you both love them and will love them, forever and always. Tell your kids that no matter who they are spending physical time with, you always hold them in your own heart and mind.
6) Give your children time to adjust. Make room to notice how they are doing, encourage questions, and keep familiar routines.
My expert bet: Your kids will experience comfort and hope for the future, however it looks in the end, seeing the two of you coming together, connecting, and working together for their well-being. How To Get A Good Divorce
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