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Meet the mythical couple - Will and Rene have been married for 8 years. In the meantime, they've had two beautiful children. Their lives are full of work, taking care of the kids, running the home, and staying connected with friends and family. But at the end of the day, when the crawl into bed, there is little energy or desire left over for sex. They both know it. They fight about it. But they really don't know what to do about it and it doesn't seem to be getting better. Other parts of their life and marriage are satisfactory, but not their sex life.
This scenario is not uncommon - I see this all the time in my counseling practice. But if this sounds like your marriage, let me offer a few quick and easy suggestions. In this series of posts, I want to highlight some changes that all couples can make to improve their sexual intimacy.
That's right, many busy couples who are working hard and taking care of children forget to touch each other. They forget to hug, cuddle, kiss, and hold hands. They forget what it feels like to tickle each other's hair, to scratch each other's back, to rub each other's feet, and to linger a little longer in an embrace. Non-sexual touch is the forerunner to more sensual touch. If you'd like to bring back more sex to your marriage, begin by introducing more touch.
Do this: Turn on some music in your home, something slow that your spouse really likes, and invite them to dance with you. Just hold each other really close and move together. Do this without any expectation for sex. Just touch each other.