I run a coaching practice focusing on sexual issues, problems, difficulties that people have. I am based in Singapore. My company is called Eros Coaching. Coaching not only changed my life – it saved mine.
I suffered a lot after the end of my first marriage. I was really reeling from this whole mixed bag of emotions from shock, anxiety, depression, and I knew I had to do something that was very radical.
I came across this person giving a talk at the library and found out that she’s a life coach. It wasn’t so much coaching that intrigued me, but more who she was – the presence and the power that she had, and I just wanted to get support but at the same time I was really inspired by her. So I sign up for a package of a few sessions with her and she introduced me to things that I had never heard about.
She introduced me to affirmations, meditation, the importance of taking care of myself, coming back into my body, loving myself and through our sessions she helped me to identify the purpose of my life. She’s also an intuitive person so she actually could sense and gave me a lot of confidence about my future saying that I could totally do what she’s doing.
So I really held on to the tools that she gave me because it was really… a lifeline. I didn’t know what I would or could do if my coaching didn’t work. So I gradually literally crawled my way from darkness into light, started feeling better and better. And today, I am happy to say it’s been more than 10 years since the end of my first marriage, and I am light. I now know how to not just take care of myself but to be strong.
Now as a coach, it’s my responsibility to keep this light within me strong so that I can help and inspire my clients. It’s almost like she’s passed her touch on, and now I’m passing the flame onto the light of other people. I see this as my life’s work and I’ve always wanted to – I always knew that I have this big purpose to help people, only I didn’t know how, and coaching has been the way.
I will have to say that in order to be a coach, one has to have a big degree of self-awareness about themselves – constantly be willing to look at themselves through the mirror, doing a lot of self-reflection basically and also continue to grow and develop themselves as individuals and as coaches. And this would be the way in which coaches change lives – first transform themselves and then move on to transform the lives of others. I see this as a big responsibility, and I really cannot think of a more fulfilling work that I can be involved in, because I’m impacting people every single day – when I have someone in front of me.
In a previous career, I was doing mass communications – I was doing PR, marketing, advertising, and I was really crafting messages to reach out to the masses – people-at-large. But with coaching I’m really working mostly with people one at a time and it’s extremely fulfilling to see them lighting up, getting the “aha” moments and through each session, begin to see how they’re changing.
They’re not just changing through their lives from what they’re saying they’re doing, but you literally see that they become more and more beautiful and light up through the sessions. It’s an extremely rewarding work to be a coach. So this is how coaching, in a nutshell, has changed my life. First, I was healed and transformed and then now I have the privilege and honor of working with so many amazing wonderful brave people who also want to have a better fuller lives.”
Coaching can help you uncover who you are, what you want, what you need to do to get there more quickly and painlessly than you would yourself. Sometimes, my clients approach me only after hitting rock-bottom in their lives. Many had put off what started off as a small question, only for it to explode into a massive problem, and take on a life of its own.
There is absolutely no need to “suck it up” and “suffer” in silence. Seek out the support you feel you might need. What a lot of people don’t realise is that I am also a certified life coach and that there is a big link between living life fully and embracing our sexuality. For more about my work, click here, and here for a video of me talking about my work. I look forward to hearing from you.
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Dr. Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching in Singapore. She is a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists), as well as certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists). She is available to provide sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conduct sexual education workshops, and speak at public events in Asia and beyond. Her book Love, Sex and Everything In Between is out now. For more, visit www.ErosCoaching.com.
This article was originally published at Eros Coaching
. Reprinted with permission from the author.