A Note To Wannabe Sexologists

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A Note To Wannabe Sexologists
If you asked me if being a sexologist is hard, this is what I would say....

Last December, I facilitated a session which defined sex, sexuality and intimacy during SlutTalk, a fringe event under SlutWalk Singapore. It was the inspiration for an earlier piece on publichouse.sg with the same title here. After my session, I thought I was off-work, resumed my civilian status, and was easing into my seat. An undergraduate lady sitting next to me began small talk by first remarking that I look nothing like my namecard/ website/ media pictures. She next asked me if my work was difficult.

Take this in the context of two of my previous pieces, also on publichouse.sg – The Tribulations of a Sexologist Part 1 and Part 2, and you may recognise why I was completely lost for words.

 

How can I even begin to talk about how incredibly difficult my work was? There are days when I think only a fool would continue doing the work I do. So why do I still do it? Why would I want to deter her, possibly an aspiring sexologist (looking at me with those star-crossed eyes), to not pursue this career if she had the drive, desire and passion for it? How does one even know if another is right for this career? I certainly had no desire to dampen her ambitions or right to judge her suitability to be the next Dr Ruth of Singapore.

Finally I said, “Well, I won’t say it is easy. I do this work because there is nothing else I rather be doing.”

About a year ago, I remember a fellow sexologist asking in a forum if we should encourage people to pursue sexology as a career.

I responded: “The work that we do is incredibly difficult and often thankless. To me, it is a calling and I do it because I cannot see myself doing anything else. I cannot speak for other people.”

Indeed, why do we do what we do? How do we know what is the purpose of our lives? What is the reason you are here – or your higher calling? I like to zoom into the “Seventh Law: The Law of ‘Dharma’” or “Purpose in Life” in Deepak Chopra’s The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.

In it, Chopra wrote:

“Everyone has a purpose in life… a unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.”

According to Chopra: there are three components to this law, each of us is here:

This article was originally published at Eros Coaching. Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Sex Coach

Dr Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching in Singapore. She is a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists), as well as certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists). She holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality as well as certificates in practical counselling, life coaching and sex therapy. She is available to provide sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conduct sexual education workshops and speak at public events in Asia and beyond.

She is the host of the weekly radio show Eros Evolution on OMTimes Radio. Check out her first book Love, Sex and Everything In-Between! Join the Eros Coaching Facebook fan page for daily updates on the most happening news on sex and sexuality around the world, and more here! For more, visit www.ErosCoaching.com.

Location: Singapore, Singapore, Singapore
Credentials: MA, Other
Specialties: Empowering Women, Sexuality
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