Last December, I facilitated a session which defined sex, sexuality and intimacy during SlutTalk, a fringe event under SlutWalk Singapore. It was the inspiration for an earlier piece on publichouse.sg with the same title here. After my session, I thought I was off-work, resumed my civilian status, and was easing into my seat. An undergraduate lady sitting next to me began small talk by first remarking that I look nothing like my namecard/ website/ media pictures. She next asked me if my work was difficult.
How can I even begin to talk about how incredibly difficult my work was? There are days when I think only a fool would continue doing the work I do. So why do I still do it? Why would I want to deter her, possibly an aspiring sexologist (looking at me with those star-crossed eyes), to not pursue this career if she had the drive, desire and passion for it? How does one even know if another is right for this career? I certainly had no desire to dampen her ambitions or right to judge her suitability to be the next Dr Ruth of Singapore.
Finally I said, “Well, I won’t say it is easy. I do this work because there is nothing else I rather be doing.”
About a year ago, I remember a fellow sexologist asking in a forum if we should encourage people to pursue sexology as a career.
I responded: “The work that we do is incredibly difficult and often thankless. To me, it is a calling and I do it because I cannot see myself doing anything else. I cannot speak for other people.”
Indeed, why do we do what we do? How do we know what is the purpose of our lives? What is the reason you are here – or your higher calling? I like to zoom into the “Seventh Law: The Law of ‘Dharma’” or “Purpose in Life” in Deepak Chopra’s The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.
In it, Chopra wrote:
“Everyone has a purpose in life… a unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.”
According to Chopra: there are three components to this law, each of us is here: