Last 9 Things I Wish I Learned In Sex Ed—Part 4 of 4 [EXPERT]

One does not set out to be a sexuality educator, not one coming from a typical Chinese family anyway. I became one to help people because I was tired to sex always talked about in negative ways.

Here are the last nine of 36 things that I wish I learned in sex-ed as a teenager. You can read part 1, part 2 and part 3 here.

1. Alcohol may relax you. Alcohol may make you perform better sexually. But alcohol also numbs sensation and pleasure, and inhibits judgment.
2. If you experience pain when engaging in self pleasuring, when performing oral sex on somebody, or when giving or receiving penetrative sex (vaginal or anally), slow down or stop! Always listen to your body!
3. If we listen to the signals our body sends us, why do we not listen to what our heart tells us? When we become better at identifying and expressing our emotional feelings, we become more socially adept in establishing and building relationships. The more socially adept we become, the better we feel and the better our relationships will be.
4. We get caught up with what is “normal,” “correct,” and “acceptable.” It dominates our thinking on everything from length and size of anatomical parts, to sexual frequency, duration, and positioning. Especially in sex, there is actually no such thing called “normal.”
5. Always regard negative statistics and studies relating to sex and sexuality with a pinch of salt. Such reports are only as accurate as the quality of their sample and manner in which the study was conducted, and sometimes by whom it was funded. They do not necessarily represent the rest of the world, and most likely, they do not represent you.
6. Modern science tells us that homosexuality is a human variation, not a mental illness and, therefore, has no need for a cure. One’s sexual orientation has no bearing on their value system or the quality of their character. Homosexuals are perfectly capable of being faithful and forming happy and long lasting relationships.
7. Discount negative media portrayals of queer people. These stereotypical images are used to help move the plot along quickly.