Have you heard the saying that sex can be a form of meditation? Annie Sprinkle, a performance artist and sexuality educator in the United States, combined the words masturbation and meditation to coin the word medabation. You, too, can practice mindful sex if you so desire. You may need to begin practicing these concepts of mindfulness outside of the bedroom, before being able to proceed to conscious sex.
First of all, what is meditation? Meditation happens simply when you acknowledge and observe whatever is happening — whether pleasant or unpleasant — in a relaxed manner. You probably already know that being relaxed but still noticing what is happening to and around you, so as to respond accordingly, are key steps to having good sex. 3 Ways To Squeeze In More Sex
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These are the main components of being mindful:
- Be in a natural state of mind
Your mind is relaxed and at peace. You are neither focusing too hard, nor trying to control your thoughts. There is no force or restriction imposed upon yourself. You are simply allowing your mind to be in its natural state of restfulness. How natural can you be if you are anxious about performance, or wrapped up in the inner dialogue in your head? 9 Things I Wish I Had Learned In Sex Ed
- Be physically relaxed
It is not just about the mind. Your body should also be in a natural position and relaxed. Both the mind and the body should be comfortable. Bringing your attention gently to your breath is one way of centering yourself and allowing yourself to go into an even deeper state of relaxation.
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- Be aware
Being aware is not trying to create anything, or rejecting what is happening. It is observing what the mind and body are experiencing. What are you thinking? What are you aware of? Where is the mind's attention now? Inside? Or outside? It is not preventing thinking, but rather recognizing and acknowledging thinking whenever it arises. This acknowledging allows thoughts to enter, and then drift away.
- Be in the moment
It is about paying attention to the present moment, and not getting lost in the thoughts about the past or being carried away by thoughts about the future. It's commonly called being in the moment or being in the present. Being truly in the moment — even somewhat engrossed in the now, where time seems to stand still — leads us to the next point of more easily letting go of expectations. How Do I Run My Own Self-Retreat?