9 More Things I Wish I Learned In Sex Ed—Part 2 of 4

By Dr. Martha Tara Lee. Posted on Jan 31st 2012.

What does this sexologist wish she learned about sexuality besides menstruation growing up?

Because your desires and preferences may change over time, sexual communication must be an ever-evolving process. You deserve the best sex possible; communicate.

Sex involves the expression of physical love. It is about the joy of life as well as the intimacy of connectedness. The intimacy that these couples must have has to do with the ability to share one’s fears, dreams, and pains. Without honesty, patience, and the ability to be vulnerable, it is not possible to let your partner know who you really are and what you really want.

Masturbation is sex. Foreplay is sex. Oral sex is sex. Anal sex is sex. Penis in the vagina is sex. The lack of the male or female orgasm is still sex. To a sexologist, there are different forms of sexual expressions and once one enters the sexual response cycle, it counts as sex! And there is nothing wrong with the word sex either!

There is a difference between fantasy and reality. In our fantasies, there are no repercussions, no harm, or pain physically felt or experienced. Fantasies are stimulating because they would probably not happen in real life. This does not mean fantasies cannot become reality, nor does it mean that all fantasies should be played out in life. What is more important is that you can separate between fantasy and reality, and are able to decide what you wish to retain as a fantasy, and what you would like to have happen down the road and under what circumstances.

Did you expect these items to be on part 2? Go onto part 3 and part 4 now! In case you missed it, part 1 is here!

Dr. Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching in Singapore. She is a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists), as well as certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists). She holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality as well as certificates in practical counselling, life coaching and sex therapy. She is available to provide sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conduct sexual education workshops and speak at public events in Asia and beyond. For more, visit www.ErosCoaching.com.

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Dr. Martha Tara Lee

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I am running three campaigns in the first half of 2013: Febulove for February, Eco-Sex for March - April, Masturbation Month for May. Subscribe to them here! Join the Eros Coaching Facebook fan page for daily updates on the most happening news on sex and sexuality around the world, and more here!

Location: Singapore, Singapore, Singapore

Credentials: MA, Other

Specialties: Empowering Women, Sexuality

Website: http://www.ErosCoaching.com

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