You Don't Know Someone Until You Have Conflict

By

You Don't Know Someone Until You Have Conflict
Do you sometimes wonder if you REALLY know the person you are dating?

Also, there are people who are very good at APPEARING open. For example, many very narcissistic people have learned exactly what to say to appear very open. Almost anyone can get pulled in by a brilliant narcissist. We all want to feel seen and heard, and brilliant narcissists are often masters at looking like they see you and hear you. They can be very compelling —until the relationship deepens and their fears of not being in control of their narcissistic supply are activated.

This is why I generally suggest that people take their time getting to know someone. Someone who appears brilliant, sensitive and charming can be deeply needy, angry, demanding, unreliable and completely lacking in empathy. Only time will tell if you are dealing with a genuinely caring person or with someone who has learned to act caring to get what they want.

Kiera and I discussed all of this. "Take your time Kiera. If you stay open and present, your feelings and inner knowing will let you know what the truth is about this man. Don't disregard any of your feelings. Attend to all of them."

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free!

Connect with Margaret on Facebook.
 

This article was originally published at Inner Bonding . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Margaret Paul

Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
Other Articles/News by Dr. Margaret Paul:

Relationships: The Power of Goodwill

By

Research into good marriages indicates that the most important choice healthy couples make is to have goodwill toward each other. This may seems like a simple requirement, yet many couples have anything but goodwill toward each other. Instead, they make it far more important to: • Attempt to control each other with criticism, judgments, blame, anger, ... Read more

“I Feel Overwhelmed”

By

I often hear from my clients that they feel overwhelmed. Generally, feeling overwhelmed means one of three things: • Overwhelmed by their feelings • Overwhelmed by time pressures • Overwhelmed by how to do things ‘right’ The feeling of overwhelm is generally caused by how we are treating ourselves and what we are telling ... Read more

The Moment of Choice – To Love or React

By

All of us have "triggers" that set off our fear or anxiety and may lead to our reactivity - anger, defensiveness, withdrawal, compliance or resistance. We are especially triggered in our important relationships. Take a moment right now to think about what, in your relationships, triggers you into your fear or anxiety. Are you triggered ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular