Terence learned that he had another option besides compliance or resistance. He learned to take responsibility for his own feelings by telling Wendy his truth when she yelled at him or blamed him. Instead of being a victim, he learned to stand up for himself and disengage when Wendy was angry. He learned to say, "I don't like being yelled at, and I don't like being with you when you are angry at me. Let me know when you are ready to be kind," and then go do his own Inner Bonding process, or do something fun for himself.
At first, Terence was reluctant to say this to Wendy. He didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her his truth. He felt his truth was harsh and that he would be unloving if he said these things. However, when he was willing to take the risk of speaking his truth, he found that Wendy was actually grateful to receive the truth. Rather than getting angry and hurt, she appreciated his honesty, and told him that he was helping her to learn and grow by telling her his truth.
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Terence ended up not leaving. Over a period of a year of practicing Inner Bonding, their relationship completely changed. In fact, he and Wendy have achieved a new level of love and intimacy in their relationship, beyond what they had when they first fell in love.
To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free!
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