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Which Works - Getting Love Or Being Loving?

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Which Works - Getting Love Or Being Loving?
Do you believe that getting love is what will fill you and make you feel worthy?

Until you choose to learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for your own feelings of pain, joy, worth and security, you will likely look for someone to take away your pain and make you feel safe, worthy and secure. The belief that someone other than yourself can do this for you, and that if they love you they will do this for you, is a major false belief that causes many relationship problems.

As long as you are making another person responsible for your feelings, you are abandoning yourself, and it is the self-abandonment that is the cause of your pain and lack of self worth.

More from YourTango: It's All In The Energy!

Everything changes when you decide that your primary intention is to be loving rather than to get love. Once you make this decision, then you will naturally go about learning how to be loving to yourself and share your love with others. Until then, you will be trapped in trying to get someone else to give you the love you need. Their love is wonderful when they offer it, but you are the only one with yourself 24/7, so you are the only one who can consistently bring yourself the love you need.

Why not begin today learning how to do this?

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week eCourse, “The Intimate Relationship Toolbox” – the first two weeks are free!

More from YourTango: Are You Caretaking or Are You Being Loving?

Connect with Margaret on Facebook.
 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Margaret Paul

Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
Other Articles/News by Dr. Margaret Paul:

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Are You Caretaking or Are You Being Loving?

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"How do I know when I am caretaking and when I am being loving?" I get asked this question quite frequently. The answer lies in understanding your intent. Caretaking Caretaking comes from the ego wounded self and the intent behind caretaking is to control. When you are caretaking, you are giving yourself up to do what someone else wants ... Read more

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