__Anger, blame, ridicule, sarcasm, threats - any kind of attack and verbal abuse.
__Withdrawal, resistance, indifference, shutting down.
__Being silent, closed, refusing to talk about the issues between us.
__Physical violence or the threat of physical violence.
__Being a victim, sulking, pulling, poor-me tears.
__Harping, nagging, explaining, defending.
__Being parental, judgmental, critical, having to be right.
__Shutting me out with various addictions - alcohol, drugs, pot, TV, computer, Blackberry, telephone, video games, porn, and so on.
__Spending money when we can't afford it.
__Being so frugal that we can't enjoy life.
__Not taking care of him/herself by eating badly, lack of exercise, being overweight.
__Talking on and on about him/herself.
__Lack of interest in me, my interests, my feelings, what is important to me.
__Expecting me to give myself up for him/her.
__Not concerned with how his/her behavior affects me.
__Giving others a lot of attention but ignoring me.
Once you finish with these lists, you might want to share them with your partner, a friend, a parent, or an adult child.
To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free! Phone or Skype sessions with Dr. Margaret Paul.