What To Do When You're Alone For The Holidays

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What To Do When You're Alone For The Holidays
If you do not have friends or family, discover what will fill your heart and bring you joy.

Being alone for the holidays is a major challenge for many people. Holidays often conjure images of family, of warmth and the sharing of special time. Loneliness can be overwhelming when you have no one with whom to share holiday time.

Many people, however, miss the point of what holidays are really about and what makes them special. Holidays are not about what you GET - they are about what you GIVE. Many people are under the misconception that the joy of holidays is about what you receive rather than about what you share. Our hearts get filled with love when we give and share love, rather than from getting love.

This may seem like a paradox. Many people spend their time with others attempting to get love, attention and approval, thinking that this is what makes them feel happy and worthy. But getting attention from others to fill ourselves is like eating chocolate when you are lonely - it works for the moment but then you need more and more of it. Eventually it becomes an addiction.

What really fills the emptiness is the giving of love. If you are alone over the holidays, the question becomes, "How can I give love in ways that will bring me joy?"

Below are some suggestions for sharing your love and caring over the holidays:

  • Gather toys from friends and store donations and bring them to children who would not otherwise have toys. You can find these children through schools, churches and various other organizations.
     
  • Find a battered women's shelter in your area and help to create the holiday there - preparing food, decorating the tree, and just spending time with them. Last year a friend of mine organized a number of her local markets to donate food over Christmas to the local shelter that housed mothers and their children who had left abusive husbands. She got to know the mothers and children and received great fulfillment in providing them with an abundant Christmas.
     
  • Spend time with old people in nursing homes, especially those who have no family. Spending time caring about another lonely person will go a long way toward taking away your loneliness!
     
  • Volunteer to help with serving food to the needy over Christmas. Many churches and other charitable organizations welcome volunteers to help in food lines over the holidays.
     
  • Locate a retreat center near you that has a special event over the holidays and share your time with other people who are also alone for the holidays. Last year a friend of mine, who had just left her husband and was alone for the first time with no family around her, went to a beautiful retreat center on the East Coast. Twenty people gathered there to share Christmas together. There was a wonderful ceremony of gratitude that she said filled her heart, and she enjoyed sharing time with new people.
This article was originally published at Inner Bonding . Reprinted with permission.
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Dr. Margaret Paul

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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
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