What to do if Your Partner Won't Go to Counseling
By Dr. Margaret Paul. Posted on .
Relationships are a system, with both partners participating in the system. When one partner changes the system, the whole system changes. For example, if you are a caretaker and your partner is a taker, and you stop caretaking and start to take loving care of yourself, one of two things will happen. Either your partner will be impressed with seeing you be happy, will gain more respect for you and start to take better care of himself or herself, or he or she will be angry and feel abandoned. Even if your partner initially gets angry and feels abandoned, this does not mean that at some later time he or she won't shift and become more self-responsible. With the clients that I work with, most of the time when one partner really does take full responsibility for himself or herself, the other partner eventually stops being angry and starts to learn to take care of themselves.
When one partner in a relationship practices Inner Bonding and learns to take full responsibility for his or her own feelings and needs, you move beyond neediness and blame, and are able to share your love with your partner. This can bring about profound change in your relationship!
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To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free!
More from YourTango: Are You Caretaking or Are You Being Loving?
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