How To Save Your Marriage When You Have Children

By

How To Save Your Marriage When You Have Children
If you have children and are thinking of getting a divorce, this article if for you.

As I worked with Leah with Inner Bonding, she began to learn how to tune into her feelings and take responsibility for them. She learned how to recognize when she was abandoning herself through her self-judgments, through ignoring her feelings with her food and nicotine addictions, and through making Ronald responsible for her feelings with her anger, blame and withdrawal.

Within a few months of starting to work on herself and practice the 6 Steps of Inner Bonding, and with the support of the Inner Bonding membership community, Leah began to feel much happier. Because she was taking loving care of herself, she was able to speak her truth to Ronald with kindness rather than anger. She was able to tell him that when he was taking care of himself and in his power, she found him very attractive, but when he abandoned himself and was needy, she was very turned off to him.

 

Ronald, seeing the change in Leah, began to work with me to learn the Inner Bonding process. It didn't take him long to learn to take responsibility for his own feelings.

As a result of their Inner Bonding work to learn to stop abandoning themselves and blaming each other, and to learn how to take loving care of their own feelings, Leah and Ronald saved their marriage. They are now having fun together, enjoying their children together, learning together and supporting each other. Leah often finds herself turned on to Ronald.

Most of the couples that I work with are able to save their marriage, when that is what they want to do.

If you are having problems in your marriage, I encourage you to devote yourself to learning how to take responsibility for your own pain and your own joy through the practice of Inner Bonding. If you leave your relationship without learning this, you will take your controlling, compliant, needy, angry or blaming behavior with you. You will take your aloneness and emptiness with you. You will take your substance and process addictions with you, and you will likely create a similar relationship next time.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by learning how to take full, 100% responsibility for your own feelings, and you will be helping your children do the same. You will also give them a chance at growing up in an intact and loving family.
 

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free!

Connect with Margaret on Facebook.
 

This article was originally published at Inner Bonding . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Margaret Paul

Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
Other Articles/News by Dr. Margaret Paul:

Scream If You're OVER Being Your Partner's Therapist

By

One of the important things I learned in my own marriage and in my work with clients is that a committed relationship is NOT supposed to be a therapeutic relationship. We can help each other to learn, grow and heal, but this is very different than a therapeutic relationship. In a marriage, or close committed relationship or friendship, we can help each ... Read more

The Essential Guide To Romance vs Friendship

By

James, in his mid-30s, was ready to meet his life partner, get married and have children. After dating many women, he met Cindy. "She is really beautiful, although I'm not sure she's my type. But I think she is perfect for me. We have the same interests, the same values, we go to the same church and we both want children. My friends who meet ... Read more

Do You React Well To Irrational Behavior?

By

Ted's mother was often emotionally irrational. She would demand irrational things from him, such as telling him that it was his job to make her happy. She would cry and yell when he did anything for himself, claiming that he was selfish and making her miserable. Often, she would scream at him out of the blue, for seemingly no reason at all. Sometimes she ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular