Research indicates that, unless there is violence in the home, children are generally better off being raised by an intact family. Whenever clients who have children call to work with me on their marriage, I always encourage them to do all they can to save their marriage.
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Leah first consulted with me because she was completely turned off to her husband, Ronald. Many of their battles had to do with Ronald getting angry at their lack of a sex life. Leah had given in for years, but was no longer willing to have sex without being emotionally connected with Ronald.
As I listen to Leah talking about her problems with her husband, I could feel inside that Ronald was a good person, as was Leah. They were off track because each of them was making the other responsible for their feelings.
Leah blamed Ronald for her unhappiness, claiming that his anger and neediness was the cause of their problems. According to Leah, Ronald blamed Leah for his unhappiness, claiming that her coldness, anger, and sexual withdrawal were the cause of their problems. It was apparent that both Leah and Ronald had their eyes on the other, with little understanding of the fact that each of them was abandoning themselves to the other.
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