A Powerful Secret To Creating A Loving Relationship

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A Powerful Secret To Creating A Loving Relationship
Discover the ONE choice that is essential to creating a loving relationship.

If Samantha's intent had been to learn, she would not have gotten angry. Instead, she would have wanted to understand Jason's objections. If Jason's intention had been to learn, he would not have given himself up. Instead he would have wanted to understand why this particular vacation was so important to Samantha. Both Samantha and Jason would have been caring about themselves and each other, rather than wanting to get love or avoid pain. In their mutual exploration about why they each felt the way they did, they would have learned what they needed to learn about themselves and each other to reach a win-win resolution. Instead of Samantha ostensibly winning and Jason losing, they would have come up with something both of them could live with. With some exploration of his financial fears, Jason might have decided that the vacation Samantha wanted would be fine. With understanding of Jason's financial concerns, and of her own need to feel special, Samantha might have decided on a less expensive vacation. In either case, both of them would have felt fine about the outcome.

No matter how much Jason and Samantha have in common or are attracted to each other, their love will diminish when their intent is to control rather than learn. It's amazing how quickly love vanishes when one or both partners have the intent to control. It's equally amazing how fast it comes back when both partners have the intent to learn. Through a consistent Inner Bonding practice, each person can gradually learn to stay open to learning more and more often, even in the face of conflict.

 

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free!

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This article was originally published at Inner Bonding . Reprinted with permission.
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Dr. Margaret Paul

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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
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