The ONE Major Cause Of Relationship Problems!
By Dr. Margaret Paul, YourTango Experts. Posted on .
Organizational Self-Abandonment
If you refuse to take responsibility for your own time and space, you create power struggles with your partner and are left feeling victimized by your inability to create a sane personal environment and schedule. This is especially true if your partner values an orderly home or being on time.
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Physical Self-Abandonment
If you refuse to take care of yourself physically, instead of eating badly and not exercising and possibly causing yourself health problems, your partner may feel resentful at having to take care of you. Your physical self-abandonment not only has negative consequences for you regarding your health and well being, but it also has unwanted consequences for your partner, which can lead to much conflict and power struggles.
Relational Self-Abandonment
If you refuse to speak up for yourself in your relationship, instead either giving yourself up or resisting, you are eroding the love in the relationship. When you abandon yourself to another through compliance or resistance, you create a lack of trust that leads to conflict and resentment.
Spiritual Self-Abandonment
When you make your partner your dependable source of love rather than learning to turn to a spiritual source for your dependable source of love, you place a very unfair burden on your partner. When your intent in the relationship is to get love rather than to share love, then you will pull on your partner for attention, approval, time, or sex. When you do not take responsibility for learning how to connect with a spiritual source of sustenance, your neediness can create much conflict in the relationship.
Learning to Love Yourself Rather than Abandon Yourself
To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week eCourse, “The Intimate Relationship Toolbox” – the first two weeks are free!
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