The Myth of Explaining and Defending

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The Myth of Explaining and Defending
Do you believe that explaining & defending will convince the other person to see things your way?

Most people do one of three things when someone is trying to control them:

• They give in
• They resist
• They try to control back

 

If you are trying to control someone with your explaining or defending, they are likely to resist or try to control back with their own anger, blame, explaining or defending. Then each of you is trying to get the other to give in. But even if one of you does give in, the energy between you is strained rather than loving. You might win the war but lose the love.

When each person opens his or her heart to learning and caring and kindness, then whatever the issue is can get resolved. Resolution occurs only when you drop your intent to control and move into an intent to learn and love.

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free! ! Discover SelfQuest®, a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution computer program. Phone or Skype sessions with Dr. Margaret Paul.


Connect with Margaret on Facebook: Inner Bonding, and Facebook: SelfQuest.

This article was originally published at Inner Bonding . Reprinted with permission.
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Dr. Margaret Paul

Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
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