Do you believe your best & worst feelings come from whether or not you get love from others?
What the Ego Wounded Self Believes
The wounded self believes that:
- My sense of worth comes from others liking me and loving me.
- My sense of safety comes from others taking care of me.
- My good feelings come from someone loving me, approving of me and/or having sex with me.
- My good feelings come from having control over how others feel about me.
- My hurt comes from others disapproving of me and not liking or loving me.
- My fear and feelings of abandonment come from others disapproving of me or leaving me.
The wounded self believes that our best feelings come from others loving us and our worst feelings come from others rejecting us.
What the Loving Adult Knows
The loving Adult knows that my best feelings come from:
- Taking 100% responsibility for my own feelings
- Being connected with Spirit and bringing love to my inner child
- Taking loving action in my own behalf
- Giving love to myself and others rather than trying to get love
The loving Adult knows that being loving to ourselves and others is what fills us up, and that trying to have control over getting love and avoiding pain leaves us feeling empty inside.
The loving Adult knows that my worst feelings come from abandoning myself through:
- Judging myself and lying to myself
- Ignoring my feelings
- Turning to addictions rather than taking responsibility for my feelings
- Making other responsible for my feelings of worth, safety, and lovability
More Juicy Content From YourTango:
- I'm Cheating On My Husband; Am I A Bad Person?
- 25 Romantic Ways To Say 'I Love You'
- 15 Signs You're In An Abusive Relationship
This article was originally published at Inner Bonding . Reprinted with permission from the author.