Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of experts to you

It's All In The Energy!

It's All In The Energy!
Buzz, Love

How often do you ignore your feeling experience of someone, allowing your surface experience to gove

A friend of mine recently said to me, somewhat in awe, "I'm just discovering that energy is everything!"

Right, it is, but what does this mean, exactly?

Our energy is the frequency, or vibration, that automatically emanates from our being, and is a result of our intention. Each of us is always radiating energy. Energy operates on a continuum from extremely negative to wonderfully positive, and reflects our intent from an extremely evil intent to an extremely loving intent.

Whenever our intent is to protect ourselves with some form of controlling behavior, our energy is of a low frequency - heavy, dark, difficult to be around. Whenever our intent is to be loving and to learn about love, our energy is lighter and easier to be around. Learning to discern the differences in our own and others' energy is very important regarding being loving to ourselves.

Let's take an example. Richard, 28, fell in love with Rachael, also 28, and an extraordinarily beautiful woman with a winning smile. Richard is a very kind, caring and compassionate person who tends to be a caretaker. Richard believed that everyone was basically like him - kind and caring.

Richard also believed that anyone this beautiful on the outside must also be beautiful on the inside. Instead of caring enough about himself to discern who Rachael really was, Richard allowed lust to determine his decisions and married Rachael. In time he discovered that Rachael was a really hard, cold and calculating woman, who was really in the marriage to be taken care of financially. The marriage eventually ended in a difficult divorce, with Richard losing much financially.

Had Richard tuned into Rachael's energy instead of being dazzled by her looks, he would have quickly discovered that Rachael came from fear and neediness, not from caring and kindness. Had he been willing to go within to his own inner, feeling experience of Rachael, he would have known that she was operating from a much lower frequency than he, and was not a good match for him. Had he been willing to experience Rachael with his heart and soul, rather than his mind and genitals, he would have known that she was not for him.

How often do you ignore your feeling experience of someone, instead of allowing your surface experience to govern your choices? It is only your feelings that are capable of discerning a person's energy. If you feel a kind of inner uneasiness, pay attention to it. It might be telling you to be cautious. Even if a person appears on the surface to be open and friendly, the deeper intent is always betrayed by the energy. If the deeper intent in being open and friendly is to control, you can feel it in your body if you tune in. However, if your intent is to control, you may not be able to accurately discern another's energy because your ability to discern is affected by your own intent. When your intent is to learn about what is loving to yourself, then you can tune into your inner experience and discern another's intent.

Energy is everything. How people look, what they say, or how they behave does not really tell you anything. It is the energy behind their behavior and words that really matter. A person can say, with the softest voice, "I love you," and the energy behind these words can be totally different, depending upon the intent. If the person's intent in saying "I love you" is to get something -approval, sex, money, time, attention, and so on - the energy will not feel good inside you. You might feel pulled on or even drained by the expression of love. If the person's intent is to share love with no agenda in mind, it will feel very good inside you. Your job, if you want to be loving to yourself, is to stay open to learning about another's intent. You will feel safe when you become discerning, willing to know the truth about another's intent and resulting energy.

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free! ! Discover SelfQuest®, a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution computer program. Phone or Skype sessions with Dr. Margaret Paul.

Connect with Margaret on Facebook: Inner Bonding, and Facebook: SelfQuest.

This article was originally published at Inner Bonding . Reprinted with permission from the author.

From our Partners

Explore YourTango

MOST POPULAR