If You Are Thinking of Getting A Divorce, Think Again!

By

If You Are Thinking of Getting A Divorce, Think Again!
Before leaving your marriage, heal your end of your relationship system and see what happens!

Getting a divorce without healing your end of the codependent relationship system is a waste of time. You learn nothing by leaving, and you will continue the same dysfunctional reactive behavior in your next relationship. Even if it is okay to end up alone, you will not have learned how to take responsibility for your own feelings. Without learning this, you will likely be no happier alone than you were in the marriage.

What does it mean to take responsibility for your feelings? It means that when you are feeling angry, resistant, depressed, anxious, guilty, shamed or jealous, you go inside and explore what YOU are telling yourself or doing that is causing you to feel these feelings. It means when you feel lonely or heartbroken as a result of what is happening between you and your partner, you treat yourself with caring and compassion, rather than be reactive. It means that you stop being a victim of your spouse and learn to treat yourself with love and kindness.

 

If you learn to take responsibility for your own feelings and make yourself joyful and peaceful, there is a good possibility that your marriage will heal. You might want to learn the Inner Bonding® process – which will be a huge help to you in healing your relationship.

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week eCourse, “The Intimate Relationship Toolbox” – the first two weeks are free!

Connect with Margaret on Facebook.
 

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Margaret Paul

Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
Other Articles/News by Dr. Margaret Paul:

Relationships: The Power of Goodwill

By

Research into good marriages indicates that the most important choice healthy couples make is to have goodwill toward each other. This may seems like a simple requirement, yet many couples have anything but goodwill toward each other. Instead, they make it far more important to: • Attempt to control each other with criticism, judgments, blame, anger, ... Read more

“I Feel Overwhelmed”

By

I often hear from my clients that they feel overwhelmed. Generally, feeling overwhelmed means one of three things: • Overwhelmed by their feelings • Overwhelmed by time pressures • Overwhelmed by how to do things ‘right’ The feeling of overwhelm is generally caused by how we are treating ourselves and what we are telling ... Read more

The Moment of Choice – To Love or React

By

All of us have "triggers" that set off our fear or anxiety and may lead to our reactivity - anger, defensiveness, withdrawal, compliance or resistance. We are especially triggered in our important relationships. Take a moment right now to think about what, in your relationships, triggers you into your fear or anxiety. Are you triggered ... Read more

See More

 
PARTNER POSTS