Getting a divorce without healing your end of the codependent relationship system is a waste of time. You learn nothing by leaving, and you will continue the same dysfunctional reactive behavior in your next relationship. Even if it is okay to end up alone, you will not have learned how to take responsibility for your own feelings. Without learning this, you will likely be no happier alone than you were in the marriage.
What does it mean to take responsibility for your feelings? It means that when you are feeling angry, resistant, depressed, anxious, guilty, shamed or jealous, you go inside and explore what YOU are telling yourself or doing that is causing you to feel these feelings. It means when you feel lonely or heartbroken as a result of what is happening between you and your partner, you treat yourself with caring and compassion, rather than be reactive. It means that you stop being a victim of your spouse and learn to treat yourself with love and kindness.
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If you learn to take responsibility for your own feelings and make yourself joyful and peaceful, there is a good possibility that your marriage will heal. You might want to learn the Inner Bonding® process – which will be a huge help to you in healing your relationship.
To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week eCourse, “The Intimate Relationship Toolbox” – the first two weeks are free!
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