How One Woman Gained Insight Into Her Relationship

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What a little conversation can do to change the rut your relationship is in ...

Me: Yes, that is heartache. You feel heartache. And this is a very painful feeling, so you are covering it up with your anger. Right now, put your hands over your heart, breathing into your heart. Open to your inner guidance, inviting in compassion for your heartache. Be very gentle, tender, and kind with yourself. Take a minute to do this … Now what are you feeling?

Client: I feel lighter.

 

Me: Great. So here is what I suggest you practice. Instead of explaining and defending next time your partner attacks you and blames you, put your hand on your heart and say, "Your attacking energy is hurting my heart, so I’m going to go into the other room. I'd be happy to talk about it when you are ready to be open and caring." Then disengage and take a few minutes to bring compassion into your heart. Don't discuss the issue until both of you are open to learning. Are you willing to try this?  What Does “Learn a Lesson” In Relationships Mean?

Client: Yes, I am. I can feel the sense of relief inside. Now that I see what you mean, I can see that explaining is never going to get me anywhere. But is there ever a time to explain?

Me: Yes. When both of you are open, then you can explain things from your point of view, as well as try to understand things from his point of view. Both of you will learn new things and will likely be able to easily resolve the issue. But there is no point in explaining until both of you are open.

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week eCourse, “The Intimate Relationship Toolbox” – the first two weeks are free!

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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Dr. Margaret Paul

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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
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