Opening our hearts can lead to hurt. We can be hurt by others' unloving behavior toward us, or by losing someone we care for. The only way we can fully risk loving with an open heart is to know that we can manage the pain of heartbreak.
It is not that you can't receive love, but that you won't. You are choosing to protect yourself against pain rather than choosing to love yourself and share your love with others. Granted, it takes a lot of courage to be willing to risk heartbreak! But the point here is to be honest with yourself. You do not have to remain a victim of your childhood. You have experienced a lot of heartbreak, but now, if you want to be able to give and receive love, you need to be willing to compassionately accept that heartbreak and learn to manage it, rather than continue to avoid it.
It takes courage to open yourself to core painful feelings of loneliness, heartbreak, grief and helplessness from your childhood with the utmost compassion, kindness, tenderness, gentleness and understanding. Then the little child in you will feel seen and valued. In childhood, you shut yourself off from these old, deeply painful feelings because you were too young to manage them. Once you learn that now, as an adult, you can work through painful feelings, you will be able to open yourself to love, even though that involves the risk of being hurt.
To fully give and receive love, you need to know that you can manage the heartbreak of loss — that you have a strong connection with your spiritual guidance, who will be here to comfort you through loss. You need to know that you are a strong, loving adult self who takes responsibility for all of your feelings.
I assure you that when you practice Inner Bonding and learn to do this for yourself, you will be able to give and receive love; the greatest experience life has to offer us.
To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free! ! Discover SelfQuest®, a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution computer program. Phone or Skype sessions with Dr. Margaret Paul.