Granted, it takes a lot of courage to be willing to risk heartbreak. But the point here is to be honest with yourself. You do not have to remain a victim of your childhood. You had a lot of heartbreak, and now, if you want to be able to give and receive love, you need to be willing to compassionately feel that heartbreak and learn to manage it, rather than continue to avoid it. What it takes is the courage to open yourself to feeling — with the utmost compassion, kindness, tenderness, caring, gentleness and understanding — your core painful feelings of loneliness, heartbreak, grief and helplessness from your childhood, so that the little child in you feels seen and valued by you. In childhood, you shut yourself off from these old deeply painful feelings, because you were too little then to manage them. Once you learn that now, as an adult, you can manage your painful feelings, you will be able to allow yourself to open to love, even though that involves the risk of being hurt.
To fully give and receive love, we need to know that we can manage the heartbreak of loss — that we have a strong connection with our spiritual Guidance who will be here to comfort us through loss, and that we have a strong loving adult self who wants responsibility for all of our feelings.
I assure you, Lindsay, that when you practice Inner Bonding and learn to do this for yourself, you will be able to give and receive love — which is the greatest experience life has to offer us.
To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free! ! Discover SelfQuest®, a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution computer program. Phone or Skype sessions with Dr. Margaret Paul.